I woke around midnight. My mind kept throwing picture at me of Matthew and how happy we were. When I got awake I was really missing him. I tried to get up to go to the bathroom. I was so sick to my stomach I thought I was going to throw up my dinner. I finally got in the wheel chair to the bathroom. All my bones hurt. I thought maybe I am sick to my stomach from the pain in my hips. When I went back to bed my mind would not let me sleep because of thinking of Matthew. So many good times together. I wanted to cry because I missed him so much. I finally got back in the wheel chair and texted Mom I was going to the business meeting room. I got to the door and punched in the code. Paul was sitting in the hall and was watching me. I went in and turned on some music. Conner having his door open up stairs came out and looked down to see what was happening. He saw me go in the business room and shut the door. He waited a few minutes, then put his shoes on and came down stairs. He was sure I was in there with Scott. Conner said, to Paul. Did you see Angel go in there? Paul said, yes. Conner said, is Scott in there? Paul said, no. Conner looked in disbelief. He believed Angel was in there with Scott. After looking at Paul and the door for a few minutes he said, show me. Paul said, what? Conner said, open the door and show me Angel is not in there with Scott. Paul said, ok. He closed the book he was reading, went and opened the door. When Conner entered the room he saw Angel slowly dancing to music in the middle of the floor. He went up to Angel and said, what are you doing? She said with tears coming down, I am dancing with Matthew. She stopped dancing and said, I miss him so much. Conner took her hands and said, I know sweety. Its hard. I have had to deal with this almost all year. Conner let go of her and changed the music to the song When a Man Loves a Woman by Michael Bolton. He took her hands again and said, Let me dance with you so I can tell you how much I love you. They started dancing to and frow. He was right up to her stomach. He started singing the song along the Bolton but started putting his own words in. Angel stopped crying and was giving him a little smile. Before the song was completely finished Angel said, I have to sit down. Conner turned the music off and help her back into the wheel chair. Conner said, are you ok? Angel said, everything hurts. Could you take me over to the hospital? Conner said, sure. He wheeled Angel out of the meeting room and had Paul hold the front door open. Conner said to Paul, She wants to go to the hospital. Conner took her over and a nurse let them in. Conner told the nurse what was going on and the nurse said, let’s take some blood and do other things. Then we will get her right in bed. After the nurse was finished, the nurse and Conner got Angel in bed. Angel fell asleep right away dreaming of Matthew again. After a while the doctor on call came in and checked everything out. The doctor then waved at Connor to come out of the room. The doctor closed the door quietly and said to Conner, she is sleeping really well so I am going to ask you to go back to your room and we will call you if anything changes. Conner said, what about Scott coming over? The doctor said, I am going to post a guard. I don’t want anyone to disturb her, because even opening the door may wake her. She needs quite and stress free environment right now. Conner thanked the doctor and went back to his room. The guard showed and the doctor instructed him that no one is even to open the door. When Conner was going back to his room Paul asked how Angel was doing. Conner said, good but going to stay in the hospital for the night. After Conner went in his room and shut the door Paul texted Scott what was going on. It freaked Scott out so he got dressed. He went to check on Angel. At the hospital door the nurse would not let Scott in. Scott said, I just want to check on her. The nurse said, on the speaker, she is good and sleeping. Come back in the morning and talk to the doctor. Scott was sure Conner had done something to her. He push the button on the specker and said, did Conner do something to her? The nurse said again, come back in the morning. Scott was frantic. He went to the entrance he used to go in for work and swiped his card. The door opened and he headed to her room. When he got there, there was a guard. The guard Mike told him he was not to open the door and to go home. Scott said, I need to know she is ok. Don’t make me hurt you. The guard looked at him and thought he will kill me. Mike said, If you give me you entrance card and go with me after you open the door, I will move. Scott handed him his card. Scott so quietly opened the door. He looked at Angel and the monitors. Angel was sleeping really good and all the monitor looked good. He very carefully turned the knob and shut the door. Scott said to the guard, I am sorry its just I love her so much. The guard said, come with me. The guard took Scott to the cell next to Carlson’s office and put him in shutting the door. The guard said, Carlson will deal with you in the morning when he comes in. Scott sat down on the bed and the guard left.
When Carlson showed up in the morning he let Scott out and took him to his office. Carlson said, I am changing your work station and putting you at N9. Scott said, N9 is mostly outside and the internet is bad. I have a paper I am working on and it would be hard to get anything done. Carlson said, you should have thought of that before you threatened Mike. Scott said, I am truly sorry but I was out of my mind with worry that Conner had done something to Angel. Carlson said, Here is your card and if I have anymore trouble with you I with lock you up for a month or more. Scott said, thankyou sir and left. He went over to the hospital and the same guard was still there. Mike said, no one is to enter without permission from the doctor. Scott said, I am here to talk to you. The guard looked at him. Scott said, I am sorry for what I said to you. I hope you will accept my apology. I was out of my mind with worry and shouldn’t have said those things to you. The guard said, ok, I accept your apology but you still can’t go in with out the doctors ok. Scott said, I understand. I have been transferred to N9. The guard said, that must be the reason I was assignment to down stairs. I wish I had got N9. I hate jobs with no windows and boring as hell. Scott said, you want N9? The guard said yes. Outside with fresh air would be great. Scott said, let me see what I can do. Scott went back to Carlson’s office and he was still there. The door was open and Scott said to Carlson, could I talk to you? Carlson said, have a seat. Scott sat down and said, I have apologize to the Mike and I wanted to apologize to you. Carlson said, ok, I except your apologize. Scott said, Mike said you put him in my job and he would like N9. If promise to follow rules could Mike take N9 and I could go back down stairs. Carlson said, And I will have no trouble with you? Scott said, no trouble at all. Carlson handed his downstairs card and said give the one I gave you early to Mike. Scott said, oh, thankyou. You will not regret this. Carlson said, I better not or I will lock you up for months. Scott went back to the hospital and gave Mike a card for N9 and thanked him for his understanding. Mike said, thankyou this is great. Scott asked Mike how Angel was doing and Mike said, I heard the doctor say she was doing well. She also ate most of her breakfast. Scott said, thankyou and went down stairs to go to work.
In the afternoon Dr. Walton came to visit. He said, back again? I smiled and said, yes. I told him I keep dreaming about Matthew and how wonderful my life was with him. Dr. Walton said, it is understandable to mourn about a loved one. Grief is a natural human response to the loss of a loved one. Your mind is most likely telling you how much Matthew would have loved the children you are about to bring into this world. The talk we had was good and made me fell better. He said he would come tomorrow. I also felt better about being back in the hospital in case something happened. When my doctor came in she had good news saying I was doing well. She said, she didn’t want me going home again because she wanted to give the kids as much time as we can to develops their lungs before birth. My instructions were to stay in bed as much as possible and give them everyday you can.
Matthew was dreaming. He was in a temple in front of a young boy who said he was the Buddha. The Buddha told him to take the challenge. Wear 3 robes, 3 clothes for your privates, three for your elbows, three for your shoulders, three for your knees and two bags of salve over your balls and wrap your legs well. Don’t pick up the cauldron because it could burn to the bone. Just use it to get your mark. Don’t stop until you are out the door and wait for as long as it takes for your friend. Matthew woke Jean up and told him about the dream. Jean said, he had the same dream. Jean said, he was ready for the challenge. Matthew and Jean went looking for the English monk to tell him they were ready to go. The English monk showed in the evening. They told him they were ready for the challenge. He told them they had to be sure because many had died. Both Matthew and Jean said they were sure. The English monk said, he would talk to the high Monk.
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