2/17/2019
This was the first time the programmers saw what I saw. There was a window on the computer that was usually black and sometimes gray. But when I saw John standing in the door saying, “What’s going on in here.” The picture of him and his voice came across the computer where the screen had been black before. They thought it was a camera that was out. When I was cussing at people, that were making inappropriate remarks, the government brought in a guy to check out what was happening. He told them they could not have cameras in the bathrooms and a couple of other places. One night I heard this noise like someone had thrown a flash bulb on the sideway. Pop, Pop, Pop. I don’t know how many cameras they put out, but I was glad they did. Before that, I had to get in the tub and pull the curtain to take off my clothes just to take a shower.
Lisa called John and told him I was very upset and wanted to know what happened. John told her there was a disagreement between his son Jeff and me. That’s all he would tell her. She told him I was very upset, and that when she would ask if she could help. All I would say is, “It didn’t matter I was leaving.”
The next day John called to ask how I was, and Lisa told him I wouldn’t eat and all I was doing was crying. He said he was going to send Jeff to apologize and try and fix the problem. John told Lisa to tell me he still loves me and none of this was my fault.
Jeff showed up the next day. He had the doctor get me some sleeping pills. Lisa showed him the picture on the computer. He said that it was John. “How did you get the picture?” he asked Lisa. Lisa told him she didn’t know and that just came across the screen. He knocked on my bedroom door. My bedroom was a master suite off of the kitchen and had its own bathroom. He told me through the door he wanted to apologize for what happened. I yelled at him through the door and told him, “Don’t you come in here.” He responded back,” Oh, No. I am not going to come in, but I am not going away until you accept my apology and you tell me you heard me say my dad doesn’t blame you and still loves you.” He gave Lisa the sleeping pills since I would not let him in and she gave me some later. After a good night’s sleep and knowing John still loves me, I felt better.
Jeff was back, knocking on the door telling me I was being childish. He said, “John still loves you, I’m the one that made the terrible mistake. If anyone should be crying it should be me.” He went on to say his dad was a great guy and that he wanted me to come out and eat something. “I’ll get you anything you want.” He said eagerly, hoping it would buy my exit out of the room. I could hear him talking and laughing with everyone else and he seemed like a nice guy. Maybe I was making too much of it, I thought. Everyone had always told me John’s son was mean as hell. He didn’t seem mean at all. Jeff called out through the door,” What do you want to eat?” I responded, “Could I have an Antipasto?” I heard, “One Antipasto coming up”. I heard Lisa and Jeff ordering Pizzas and food for everyone through the door. When the food came Jeff knocked on the bedroom door and said “Your foods here. It’s on the kitchen table, come eat.” I slowly opened the door and looked at him. “Let’s eat,” he said and reached for my hand. I pulled it back saying,” Don’t touch me.” He turned sideways so I could get out the door and I went and sat down at the table. He pushed my chair in. The salad looked great. I took a fork and started eating. I had tea with it, it was good.
After a few minutes Lisa said,” I have to go talk to someone.” She picked up her food and drink leaving Jeff and me alone in the kitchen. Jeff asked if I liked my food. I nodded my head and said “Yeah.” I looked over at him and he was staring at me. He said,” I want to apologize again. I can’t believe I did what I did. You can call me any name in the book. Jerk, asshole, stupid, anything. Go ahead I deserve it.” I didn’t say anything. I just kept eating. Jeff said, “You’re beautiful even when you are upset.” I looked over and he had one hand under his chin with his elbow on the table. He had this funny starry-eyed look on his face. I was thinking, this is the guy that everyone said is mean as hell and I would never want to get near him. A guy who would just as well kill you if you gave him a hard time. He was using psychology on me to cheer me up, huh? I looked up at him for a second and then thought does John have another son? He started asking me if I liked the ranch. He said John had worked very hard all his life to build the ranch and get the horses he had there. I just kept nodding my head. He had managed to get on my good side.
A couple of days later I heard John and Jeff on the phone. John had gone to the doctor about ‘man problems’. He said he had to have surgery down there and there is no way he could get married to me anytime soon. Jeff told him he was in love with me and that he wanted to work with me. He asked John if we could set up some jobs for us and if John couldn’t marry me, he wanted to. He told John I can satisfy her and keep her in the family. John told Jeff he hated giving me up but at least knowing that Jeff was going to marry me made him feel better. He said, “I am really too old for her.” All I was thinking was, ‘I don’t like Jeff. I certainly am not going to marry him’.