2/2/2019
David came into the kitchen to get a cup of coffee. The lady at the table with the computer had a big grin on her face, she was looking back and forth between him and the computer. He noticed this, so when his coffee cup was full, he took it and approached her. David said to her, “What is it?” Her eyes looked up at him and then back at the computer. He realized that it was something she was reading. He came around behind her and read over her left shoulder. His first lieutenant came in and saw what was going on and started reading over her right shoulder as well. They were reading my Dairy, the very same one I post here, specifically “The Booty Call”. I think I told you once I can’t hide anything. I am being watched 24/7. Everything I see, they see. They (the government) is on my computer and phone too. David said “Shit, that women is driving me crazy. Writing our love life down for everyone to see.” His lieutenant Max spoke up. She calls you her gladiator. Max looked David up and down and said,” I never noticed it, but you do look like a gladiator. From now on I am going to call you The Gladiator.” David responded, “What do you mean?” Max said, ”When someone asks me, can you guys do this? Instead of saying, ‘I will ask David’. I will say, ‘I will ask The Gladiator.’ ” David thought for a minute and then his eyebrows went up, his head nodded a little and you could tell he liked that. Max then said I wonder if my wife would let me do that to her. We never have sex anymore. I think the last time was two or three months ago.” David looks over at Max and at his hands. Some of his nails were long and dirty. David said, “ First you need to do something about your hands.” Max looked at his hands and said, “What?” David said, “Your nails are way too long and not clean enough. Trim them down and clean them really well.” As he was showing Max his nails. “See mine. And put lotion on them to soften them. Women don’t like rough hands that feel like sandpaper.” As Max was looking at his hands and agreeing with David. David said again, ”Dress better, stay clean and smell better around her. When I met you, you dressed really nice all the time.” The lady spoke up, “Valentine’s day is coming up. Bring her flowers, take her out to eat at a nice place, hire a sitter and stay at a hotel for the night.” Max thought for a moment and smiled, “Ya.” David then continued, “And don’t go putting your finger down there without asking. And when you guys are doing better you can ask her things like that. My ex wasn’t crazy about sex and it was hard just to have sex with her. When you get to the hotel tell her you to want to give her a shower and wash her back for her. To make her feel better before bed. And then the two of you have a great time in the shower.” Max had been listening intensely. He then said, ”Thanks, Chief.” He went to the living room and started calling people to plan his Valentines day. David was really happy with the way that turned out and took his cup of coffee and went back to the little office in the house to work.
Well, its Saturday night and I don’t have a date. I don’t know where David is and I don’t think I will have a great Valentines Day. I woke up this morning and was humming Pink’s song: Just give me a reason. Now I am singing Sam Cooke’s song, It’s another Saturday Night. I guess I will have to find another boyfriend. I think Jeff wants to get back together again. We were together for about a year and a half and it was great but I am beginning to think all he wants to do is Booty Calls and that’s not what I want from a relationship.