What’s the worst that can happen?

4/8/2019

“In morning meditation, see yourself killed in various ways, such as being shredded by arrows, bullets, swords, and spears, being swept away by a tidal wave, burned by fire, struck by lightning, dying in an earthquake, falling from a great height, or succumbing to overwhelming sickness.” – Yamamoto Tsunetomo, 17th-century samurai

Its been a while since I posted. I have just been trying to catch up with school. Every day a yellow spot where there was a bruise disappears. I can’t believe I survived. Maybe its a miracle. I don’t know. Wouldnt want to go through that again for a million dollars.

I have developed a little bulge in my abdomen. My first thought was that I am pregnant. It would have been the night Mark and I were outside. I couldn’t be though because I don’t believe a baby could have made it through that beating I took. If it did it couldn’t possibly be right. I didn’t have hardly any bruises on my abdomen but a lot everywhere else. Last week I wasn’t peeing a lot and thought maybe I lost one of my kidneys. I made doctors appoint to check everything out. So I guess we will see. My thought is the problem with my stomach was from the beatings and there is a problem with my uterus. Well we will have to see what the doc says. Feeling pretty good most of the time. Still, have some aches and pains. Headaches from being hit in the head and for some reason my blood pressure keeps jumping up to 190 or 200. Maybe it is because of flashbacks. Otherwise, most of my day is good. Hope to get my life caught up this week and write in my diary every day. Start planing the summer. I really hope to get away from the government and have a nice summer. Last time I dissapeared I had a nice two years before they found me.