All week was great. I had completely forgot what had happened to me. We stopped running up stairs in the morning so Matthew could go to security. We waited until the kids went to sleep and went upstairs for a couple of hours. It was great but I couldn’t get up at four am. I could just get up enough to feed the baby and then go back to sleep. Matthew said maybe we should just fool around at the gym. They started bringing Matthew papers at breakfast so he could review and be ready for his meetings. On Wednesday when Chloe came she told Matthew that they had not found a way onto the sub yet. When she left I turned to Matthew and said let me help. Let me go to the sub and bring you someone back for you? Matthew looked at me and his eyes got really big. His hand came down on the table so hard I thought it was going to break. Food flew up above the plates and back down. Matthew looked at me and said, never say something like that to me again. He was so angry I thought he was going to explode. He was actual grinding his teeth to hold his words. I, in my surprise of what had just happened said, Of course, you are right. It wouldn’t happen again. He turned to his plate and finished his food. He then got up and said, I will be back later. And left. He called Mom about lunch time and said he would not be able to make it to lunch but would come back later and go to the gym with me. When he did show we went to the gym and he did his exercises and I did mine. We went in the hot tub and then took a shower. In the shower he handed me the soap to wash off and then a towel to dry off. He almost didn’t say a word during the time together. When we went back to Moms room he sat on the floor and played with Hunter. He was starting to loosen up but I could see it was going to take awhile. That night and Thursday night we all went to sleep and slept all night. Matthew got up at four and went to security. On Friday before breakfast he gave me a hug and a kiss. I looked at him and he reminded me of a hurt puppy someone had kicked. You could see the pain in his eyes. Friday at breakfast he held Hunter and feed her. She didn’t want her food, she wanted his food. He smile at that and I was happy. She had the scrambled egg in her hand trying to eat. You could tell she didn’t like it that much but, it was daddies so she wanted it. I felt really bad at what I had said. I wasn’t thinking about how it would effect him. I just thought maybe I can help. After he burped the baby he would just look at him. Matthew loved it when he would put his hand around his little finger. You could tell he didn’t want to give him to his Mom. I think he just wanted to spend all day looking at him. Finally when he fell asleep. Matthew handed him to his mom and went to security. As he was getting up to leave I turned to him and said, I’ll miss you. He gave me a little smile.
Friday was nice. The baby woke me at four am. I wasn’t tired but missed Matthew. Our time acting like two teens in heat was great. He got up and went to security. He spent most the day there but came back for meals and we did go to the gym. He was really quite in the hot tub. In the shower he again handed me the soap. After the he turned off the shower he pushed me up against the wall. He looked in my eyes for a long time. You could see the love in his eye and the wanting to show me his love but, I guess he just wasn’t ready. We were great and I had to open my big mouth without thinking. He handed me my towel. We went back to Moms and he went back to security.
Saturday the baby woke me up at 4am and Matthew got up and went to security. He came back for meals but we didn’t go to the gym. Some one called him at lunch and he tried to get out the door before saying, NO, we have a rating system now and this is rated for none married men. No one goes that is a family man. When he came back at night everyone was asleep. So he had to carefully slip into bed. The baby boy is so good and hardly ever cries. I think it is because he sleeps so good with his dad. Saturday went really fast which I am glad. I don’t even like the word Saturday because of the thing with the doctors and I came back on a Saturday. I just barely made it back. I did hear Matthew say it was a 5 man job so I am sure something is up.