I woke up at a little after 4am with the baby crying. I looked over to Matthew’s side of the bed and he was gone. I felt this lonely feeling and messed him. The baby had woke me several times during the night but when I put him to my breast he would push it away. I checked his diaper and it was fine so the only thing I could conclude was he wanted his daddy. I decided I would try wearing his shirt. After I took care of him I put Matthew’s shirt on and put the baby in it. I think he like that. I didn’t go back to sleep just held the baby in the shirt and rocked back and forth. Cindy came and helped get the kids ready while I got ready. We when out to the pool. Mom like eating outside and going swimming so we were going out there until the weather put a stop to it. When we got out there Mom wanted to hold the baby until the food came. She must be missing Matthew also. When the food came she put the baby in his little bed. There was Cindy, Amy, Daniela, Serena, Mom and me. All ladies. After we ate Daniele wanted to know if we could start running again. I asked Cindy if that was ok with her and she said yes. She would come to our room and be with the kids while I go running. Daniele asked Serena if she wanted to go and she said yes. Then Daniela said we should start going to the gym again. I said, Yes that would be great. I asked Cindy if she could watch the kids and Mom spoke up. Either me, Cindy or Amy will watch the kids so you can get back to the gym so don’t worry. Someone will take of them. Daniela then asked Serena if she wanted to go and she said yes. The rest of the day was normal. Class, swimming, playing with Hunter and taking care of the baby. When we went back to our room we went to Mom’s in the spare room. Amy stayed for the night and Cindy came in the morning. I was going to get back on a schedule. This would help me not to miss Matthew so much. I was going to take care of the kids and myself so when Matthew came back he would be happy about how things went.
THURSDAY MAY 11 Woke up after 4am took care of the baby and got ready to go running. Cindy came and out I went. Daniela and Serena were just getting there. I was really happy to see them. I really like them they were great to be with. The rest of the day was great. On a schedule and swimming with Hunter. For dinner Mom had asked them to make sure I was getting enough protein. They brought me this beautiful steak and baked potato. Hunter wanted it but we played this, a bite of your food for you and a bite of my food for me. When I hit the sack I had a full day and slept really well between the baby waking me up.
FRIDAY MAY 12 The day went really well now that I was on a schedule. I felt I was getting stronger in the gym. The day was just good.