Matthew woke me with a kiss and said it was time to start getting ready for breakfast. I felt really good this morning and was ready to get in a routine for the coming year. I looked at Matthew and said, do you think we could start going to the gym again? I don’t think I am getting enough exercise and I really miss the hot tub and showers with you. He smiled really big and said, when the doctor releases you. I smiled really big and he gave me another kiss. Matthew grabbed clothes out of the dresser and headed to the bathroom. After breakfast back at the room Carlson called Matthew. He was thinking of sending Serena’s mom home and having Josh bring her to meals since he was eating there with Megan anyway. Matthew thought that would be a great idea. There was no reason to keep her in holding now that Serena was with Jean. Matthew thought that was a good idea. The day was great and went fast. Four kids can keep you busy.
WEDNESDAY DECEMBER 27 I woke up with Hunter between Matthew and me. She was trying to push Matthew over so she would have more room. She brought her baby and wanted to show me. I opened my eyes and she held he doll in front of my face. She said, baby. I said, yes. Baby. Matthew was kind of laughing a little. He said, she is such a climber it is hard to keep her in her bed. I kissed her baby and said, do you want a kiss? She leaned her head in front of my face presenting her cheek. I kissed it. I said, do you want daddy to kiss your cheek? She looked at Matthew out of the corner of her eye and then presented the doll for him to kiss. He kissed the doll and said, would you like me to kiss your cheek? The corner of her mouth went to her right, looking out of her right eye at me. Then the corner of her mouth went to the left looking at Matthew. Then she leaned over some so Matthew could kiss her cheek. He kissed it and she was happy. Matthew said, did you name your doll? You could see the wheels rolling in her head. She said, baby. Matthew said, ok. Baby it is. Matthew started tickling her. Hunter was laughing and saying no. After a good laugh Matthew said, I have to go shower and got out of bed headed to the bathroom. It was such a good morning with Hunter there. It really brightened up my day. Matthew asked Amy if she could sleep with the kids with the door locked to keep an eye on Hunter. He told Amy about Hunter crawling in bed in the mornings and he was worried she might go somewhere else. Matthew moved a twin bed in the kids room and at bed time Amy slept in there with the door locked. Matthew told Amy that Hunter is not going to be happy when she finds out the door is locked so be prepared. Amy agreed with him. Carlson called Matthew and said, he wanted to send Scott and his brother home. He said, we should have a meeting with Dr. Walford, Paul, you and me on this. Matthew said, just let me know when. I just don’t want him hurting himself. A little while before bed time Matthew and I were sitting at our table in our room. Matthew was reading and I was feed a baby. Matthew looked over at me and said, Can I ask you something with out you getting upset with me. I said, yes. He said, are you sure? This is very personal. I wondered what it was and said, yes. He said, Why Scott? I swallowed really big thinking I hope he will not be mad. I said, a while after they told me you were dead, I noticed how much Scott loves Wyatt and Hunter. I thought the kids are going to need a father. I knew Scott would do anything to protect them, so that is why I decided Scott would make the best father. He shook his head a little yes a couple of times and then went back to reading. I think he thought the same thing. That Scott would lay down his life for the kids. I think he was happy with the answer because it was the truth. That night when I went to bed I was tired. No nap today and tried to get more exercise on the bike.
THURSDAY DECEMBER 28 I opened my eyes this morning to see Matthew on his side facing me and looking at me. He had this starry-eyed love look in his eyes. I smiled and said, I love you. He said, I love you so much. Please don’t every leave me. I couldn’t live without you. I was puzzled that he would think I would do that. I said, I would never do that. I love you too much. He kissed me. It was so good. I said, your sugar is really good. He said, well maybe I should give you some more. I smiled really big. I was so happy. He started kissing me and putting his tongue in my mouth. He was feeling really good. He slipped his hand under my pajama’s bottoms and got his fingers to my clitoris like he had done many times before. I was almost gone. It was a great way to wake up in the morning. He moved his lips to my neck and started whispering in my ear. Then he move to my neck and started sucking on my neck. With his rubbing on my clitoris and sucking on my neck, that it felt so good, I was gone. Soon I came and it was really good. He kissed me and rolled over on his back. Wow, that was good. I looked at him and thought I should do something for him. I sat up and put one leg over him sitting on top of him. My privates and his were facing each other. He opened his eyes and looked shocked. He put his hands on my waist and moved me back to my side of the bed while saying, what are you doing? He then quickly stood up next to the bed looking at me. I said, I was going to rub on you. He said, didn’t you come? I said, yes, but you didn’t. He said, you are not suppose to have sex yet and I don’t think I can control myself with you on top of me. I said, I have my pajamas on. He snapped at me, it doesn’t matter. I crave having my wife back. I can’t make real love to you. I haven’t made love to you in many months. Laying on the bed next to you is really hard already without you making it harder for me. I said, do you want to do it the way we did it the other night. Still upset he said, no that’s not love. That is just sex. I said, I am sorry I was just trying to make you happy. He took his daddy shirt off and said, I am going to take a shower and get ready for breakfast. You should think about what you are going to do before you do it. He went to the bathroom and got in the shower. This is the second time he has scolded me about sex. I wish I hadn’t upset him. I was laying there thinking I should wait until he comes out of the bathroom before I go in. Then I thought. Not once this morning did I not think that was not Matthew. I guess I have come to terms with him changing his look and manner of somethings he says. I smiled and thought that is my Matthew and I am so glad he is back. The rest of the day went really well. I was feeling more like myself everyday.
FRIDAY DECEMBER 29 When I woke this morning Matthew was in the shower. After he was done I when in and took my shower. After breakfast we were in our room all sitting around the table when Matthew said to me, that he needed to spend the day with Carlson and Conner. That they were planning next year, mostly the new training center. He stood up and stood in front of me. I stood up and he give me a big hug and kissed me, saying I love you. I should be back for dinner. I said, I love you too. Then he was off. The rest of the day I spent taking care of the kids with Mom and the baby nurse. When Matthew came to dinner he smelled really good. I thought he must have just come from the gym.
Matthew arrived in Carlson’s office. Carlson was sitting behind his desk with Conner and Dr. Walford sitting in front. Matthew sat behind the two because Scott was coming. Paul came through the door with Scott and two guards behind him. Scott held up his hands which were in cuffs. Scott said to Carlson, could you take these off? Carlson said, only if you promise not to harm anyone. The guards are afraid of you. Scott said, I would never hurt any one, especially these guys. They are my buddy’s. Carlson waved to the guards to take them off. Scott turned to the nearest guard who was wide eyed just looking at Scott. He had seen Scott in action and didn’t want to upset him. He unlocked the cuffs. Scott handed the cuffs to the guard and then put his right hand out to shake the guards hand. Scott said to the guard, I am sorry if I have upset you in any way. I have not been myself lately and feel I owe you an apologize. The guard smiled and shook Scott’s hand. Then Scott put his hand out to the other guard and shook it as he said, I hope you will except my apologize. The guard said, yes. Of, course. The two guards were now smiling. Scott sat down in the chair closes to Carlson on the side of his desk. Paul sat next to him. Scott was looking at Matthew with this smirky smile. Matthew was thinking, Scott is about 10 years younger. He was very fit and good looking. Matthew wondered if Angel liked sex with him better? If she wanted Scott instead of him? He remembered the words Scott yelled at him down stairs in the hospital. That the babies were his. That the kids were his. Those words hurt and were now causing a lot of pain. Then Matthew thought he needed to stop this kind of thinking. Dr. Walford was watching Scott. Carlson said to Scott, we have all come here to talk about sending you and Paul home. The doctor thinks you are ready. What do you think? Scott looked at Carson and said, That would be great. Carlson said, there are some restrictions right now. You and Paul are not allowed to leave the house until the doctor releases you. No alcohol or drugs. No guest for now. Anything you need will be delivered and trips will be with a guard. Like if you have to go see the doctor. Scott moved his shoulders forward and back. Then said, that’s fine. Carlson handed Scott a paper to sign stating the rules. Scott looked at it. All it said was what Carlson had just said, about restrictions. After Scott signed it he passed it to Paul to sign. Carlson took the signed paper and handed Scott a phone. Carlson said, this phone, is a phone for you for now. You can only call certain numbers. Scott took the phone looking at Matthew with a smirky little laugh. Scott said to Carlson, ok. Carlson said, ok then. These two guards will take you back down stairs to collect your things and then home. Scott looked at Paul and stood up. Paul stood up and the four left. Carlson said to Dr. Walford, that went well. Dr. Walford said, yes. It will take him time to come to terms with what has happened. Well, I have patients to see. He stood up and said to Carlson. I will keep you informed on his progress. The doctor left. The three started talking about what they were going to do for the day.
I had a good day. Took care of the babies and played with the two kids. The days seem to go fast.
SATURSDAY DECEMBER 30 Woke and Matthew was not there. There was a text on my phone that he had to help Carlson and Conner. There was a large space outside Carlson’s office. The three had set up a 2 long tables with a fridge at each end. The table was divided into 3’s. Breakfast, lunch and dinner. The fridge on one end had all kinds of juice. Apple, orange, smoothies, milk, water and ect. One small see thru fridge on the table had meat, cheese trays. and ect to make sandwiches. The fridge at the other end had a freezer with eggo’s, peanut butter sandwiches, soup and ect. The purpose was to help the people who were working long shifts to cover the holiday. Carlson texted all his people and said, if you need anything there is a table in front of my office. Help yourself. Carlson was freeing up everyone he could so they could spend time with their families. New years eve there was a couple’s party in the family room. Carlson wanted as many of his people to go to the romantic party with their wife’s, husbands or girl friends as possible. Carlson, Conner and Matthew were working in as many people’s spots as possible. The staff had put a ball on the ceiling and there was going to be dancing. The ball dropping on the tv in New York at midnight. I thought everything they were doing was great and I could spare Matthew for a few days.
Sunday December 31 I woke again and Matthew was gone. Some one had taken a hot shower in the bathroom, so he had not been gone long. There was another message on my phone from Matthew. Love you very much. Have to work but will make it up to up. I texted back. I love you very much also. Mom, myself, the kids went to breakfast, lunch and they brought us dinner in our room because of the New Year’s party. It was a nice quite day of playing with the kids and taking care of the babies.