Today was a quite day. We went swimming in the morning and came in after lunch. I missed Matthew because on Sunday we would watch kids movies and play with the kids in the family room after dinner. He liked to sitting on the floor and play with the kids.
MONDAY JUNE 17 Today was another regular day. The kids are getting good at swimming. We even take the twins in and they really like the water. Going to sleep and waking to an empty bed makes me miss him more.
TUESDAY JUNE 18 Woke this morning and Hunter was on her daddy’s pillow. Amy said Hunter woke up and would not go back to sleep unless she could sleep on her daddy’s pillow. I told Amy it was fine. It brightened my day to see her there.
WEDNESDAY JUNE 19 Trying to not think about Matthew. He is right next door doing something he needs to do. Hunter has to sleep on her daddy’s pillow now every night. Wyatt saw her and now he is in bed with me also. This is great because it stopped this loneliness I would feel when waking to an empty bed.
THURSDAY JUNE 20 Hunter had to show me how well she can swim. She swims better than me. Wyatt saw her and had to show me. They both swim better than me. It is worrisome when Hunter likes to put her head under water and hold her breath.
FRIDAY JUNE 21 Matthew woke me at what I thought was 4:30am. He was nibbling on my left ear. I was turned on the bed with my back to him. He started saying how much he loved me while talking his left hand and running it below my pj’s waist band. He would slide his hand between my thighs. His palm was over my colitis. My body wanted him so I turned over towards him on my back and he was gone. The kids were there. Sound asleep. I sat up and the room was lite enough I could see his side of the bed clearly. It must have been a dream. I was sitting there looking at the bed and so disappointed. I got up and went to the bathroom. When I came back Cindy looked up from he book and I smiled back as I got back in bed. I needed to go back to sleep but I was so wound up I didn’t know if I could. I turned to Matthew’s side so I could see Matthew was not there and it was only the kids. They are so beautiful. Sleeping like two little angels. Matthew has given me such a wonderful life. I think I fell asleep just before I had to get up. When I did get up I noticed today was Friday. They had a lots of things for couples on Friday like dinners and dancing. I don’t know what week this is, I will have to look it up. Most likely only half way through the program. No, I think it was the third week. I am such a whinner. Only 3 weeks. It had not even been a month.
SATURDAY JUNE 22 Today was same o same o.
SUNDAY JUNE 23 We had our regular Sunday. Swim in the morning, go in after lunch and go to the family room after dinner.