SUNDAY FEBRUARY 25

It was about 2am. I woke in a panic, cold sweat and crying. I started yelling for Matthew. Matthew came running into the room. Turning on the light he said, what is wrong? He came over to the bed, sat on the bed and started hugging me. I said, I was dreaming and it was so real. I dreamed I was back with those doctors and they were trying to take Wyatt. Matthew hugging me and wiping my tears said, it was only a dream. Wyatt is fine and you are fine. I said, It was only a dream? Matthew said, yes. And nothing is going to happen like that again. I then said, and I forgot Wyatt’s birthday. He is going to hate me. Matthew said, Wyatt’s birthday is March 2. I said, yes. Matthew said, that is next week. You haven’t forgot and Mom wouldn’t let us forget. I said, really. Matthew said, yes. We will have a really nice party and invite all the kids. Matthew wanted to make love to me and tell me there was nothing to worry about. Matthew said, why don’t we take you to the bathroom to wash your face and you come sleep with me for awhile? I said, ok. Matthew helped me out of bed. Taking my hand he led me to the other room and shut the book case. In the bathroom I washed my face and pulled myself together. Matthew stayed right by my side. When I was finished I said, Can I see Wyatt? Matthew said, sure. All the kids are in here with me. He led me over to Wyatt’s crib and whispered, see he is sleeping so good. I said, he is so beautiful. Matthew led me to the bed and when I got in he said, All you have to do is look right there and you can see all the babies. Matthew got back in bed. He pulled me over so my head was on his shoulder. Kissed me and said, I love you. I said, thankyou Matthew. He said, what for? I said, for being you and putting up with me. Matthew said, I told you we will get through this together.

I woke up and Hunter was on the bed and kissing me on my nose. I said, what is Hunter doing. Hunter said, kiss, kiss. Then I hear this noise. Wyatt was pulling on the bed sheet. He wanted on the bed. I turned over and picked him up putting him on the bed. He wanted a hug. They were both so great. Just then there was a knock at the door. Mom was here. Matthew got up from his chair where he was working on his laptop and answered the door. Matthew had been messaging Dr. Walton about last night. Matthew hadn’t noticed how close to Wyatt’s birthday that this incident had happened. Matthew thought having a shock like this 2 years in a row might have built up to this problem I was having. Matthew said to Mom, good morning. Mom saw the 3 of us on the bed and smiled. Then said, how is everyone today? Matthew said, good. When breakfast came I tried to eat more because I was feeling better.

After breakfast Matthew’s men came and Matthew had them all go in the office, so he could talk to them. Matthew gave Patrick a pad and pen. He then said, I wanted to know if any of you have any problems? Rick said, I don’t have a problem now, but every year I have trouble getting my kids clothes and backpackers for school. Joseph agreed. Matthew leaned over to Patrick and said, did you get that? Patrick said, yes. Matthew said, we need a school fund that covers all the school things including a college fund. Anything else. Joseph spoke up. I have 3 kids and we are in a one bedroom. Matthew said to Patrick, Wyman’s family is moving out to go take care of Wyman’s Mom. So Patrick, ask Carlson that I want to know if Joseph can move in there? If so, they are going to repaint and Joseph and his wife could pick the colors. Also it is right next to the new play ground. Joseph smiled really big. Matthew asked again, anything else? Well if there is, just tell Patrick and we will add it to our list. Now, I want to get you all special uniforms since you are going to be guarding my family. My wife has gone through these terrible ordeals two years in a row and I don’t think she handle another. With all of you guarding us I think it will put and end to this madness. Almost all the men spoke at the same time saying noting is going to happen on my watch. Matthew said, thankyou. Now if you have any ideals on new uniforms tell Patrick and he can right it down. We will have a meeting next week and maybe we can get new uniforms then. Matthew said, ok then, I will go back to my family. Patrick said, what do I do about the school fund. Matthew said, tell Carlson I need one and he will set us up with a finance person to work on it. Patrick said, ok. Everyone left and Matthew came back to us. Mom and I were taking care of the kids and Matthew joined in to play with the kids and toys. In the afternoon I met with the doctor in the office. I told him about the night mare and he said, part of the problem was having a traumatizing experience two years in a row may have a lot to do with my problem. We had a good talk.

At bed time Matthew wanted me to sleep with him. He pulled me over to sleep on his shoulder. He said, tomorrow I want to start you on mediation and boxing. I said, boxing? He said, yes. It will help get some of the anger out. I smiled and said, ok.

Around 2am Matthew was awake looking at me. He so longed for his wife. The way things were before the incident. He started kissing me on the ear and neck. I woke up and saw him. He said, Have I told you how much I love you lately. I said, I love you too. He put his hand down there between my legs and started rubbing me. He moved down kissing my stomach and finally reaching my colitis. He started licking up and down. It felt good but I wasn’t aroused. He tried rubbing one breast with his hand while he put his tongue in my vagina. He spent quite a while trying to get me to come. I had been coming in under a minute sometimes, but nothing. Finally I said, I can’t. I don’t know why but I just can’t. Matthew said, that’s ok. He got up and put himself in my vagina and worked on coming. Finally he said, I can’t either. He stopped and rolled over on his pillow. I said, I am sorry. Matthew pulled me over on his shoulder, kissed me on the forehead and said, don’t worry. Its most likely the meds the doctor gave you. Soon, we will be back to where we were. Let’s get some sleep. He shut his eyes and I shut mine. We went to sleep.