I woke up at 4am when the baby woke me up. We were in our room with the baby sleeping on Matthew’s chest. Matthew moved Hunter over and handed me the baby. I slept really well last night. We didn’t have sex but I felt much better. That num feeling was almost gone. If only I could get my sex drive back. Matthew didn’t get up and go to work. I went to the bathroom and put the baby back in Matthew’s shirt. I slipped back in to bed and went back to sleep. Hunter woke me up later. I opened my eyes. Matthew and Hunter were just looking at me. Hunter saw me with my eyes open and put one hand on each cheek and kiss me. I said, to her oh, wow what a great way to wake up. The baby started crying so Matthew handed me the baby. I started feeding the baby and Hunter pointed at the baby and said, nup. I thought about it and was thinking maybe she is trying to say nipple.
Cindy came to collect us for breakfast. Breakfast was great as usually. It was so much better having Matthew there. Matthew asked Hunter if she wanted some milk. Hunter reached out both hands and said nup. Matthew and I looked at each other. So Hunter was calling milk nup. I was starting to feel really guilty about the way I have been behaving. Matthew is such a great husband and father. He doesn’t deserve to have a scatter brain wife. Here I had been talking about how I should be there to help him and take care of his needs not fly off the handle every time something doesn’t go my way.
After breakfast we all went and sat in the family room. Matthew turned to Mom and me and said, What do you guys want to do today? I didn’t know. Matthew said, we can go swimming, just play with the kids or watch tv. Mom suggested we have dinner out at the pool and go swimming later. I said, sounds good. I took Matthews hand and kissed it. Hunter saw me and wanted to kiss his hand also. I said, I am sorry for getting so upset. I love you very much and shouldn’t act that way. Matthew looked at me and smiled. He was glad to hear that. I then said, if you need to go to work me and the kids will me fine. You know we have the best Mom in the whole world watching over us. Matthew smiled really big. He kissed me on the cheek. Hunter saw Matthew kiss me on the cheek. She put up both hands and wanted to kiss me too. I leaned forward so she could kiss me. That made her really happy. Matthew said, Well I do have some work to do and could come back at lunch if you are sure you would be ok? I replied, We will be fine. Matthew kissed Hunter on the cheek and handed her to Mom. He went to work. He looked back to see everything was ok so I through him a kiss.
We had a great day. Went swimming. Matthew took Hunter in the pool. Dinner was great and Matthew danced with me again. At bed time when we were in bed Matthew asked if I would be fine if he went to work in the morning. I said, Yes. Like I said I don’t know why I was acting so childish. I love you very much and don’t understand why I would act like that. Matthew smiled and we all went to sleep.
MONDAY APRIL 16 The baby woke us up at 4am like always. Matthew handed me the baby and got up to get ready for work. After I took care of the baby I slipped the baby back into Matthew’s shirt and adjusted the pillows. I went in the bathroom to pee and Matthew was almost ready to go. After I peed I went to wash my hands and Matthew put his hands around my waist. He pulled me close to him. Looking in my eyes he said, I am so blessed. I have a beautiful wife and kids. I was naked and he was dressed. He put his hand between my legs and started rubbing me. He said, You are so warm and feel so good. I couldn’t do anything but smile. My husband loves me. He said, I love you so much. He pushed me up against the sink and dropped his pants. He started kissing me. Then he started kissing my neck. He put himself inside of me. He felt so good and I felt forgiven. Before I knew what even happened I came and he came. It was great. We cleaned ourselves up. He kissed me and said he should go to work. I kissed him and went back to bed. He went to work. He showed at breakfast and it was a great morning. I called Daniel and told her I didn’t feel up to running yet but would call her when I was ready to come back. I went to class and there were more people there. Jean said he was glad I was back. Matthew came to dinner and didn’t go back to work this evening.
TUESDAY APRIL 17 The baby woke me at 4am. Matthew was already getting ready in the bathroom. He went to work but came back for breakfast. The day went really well.
WEDNESDAY APRIL 18 The baby woke me us up right on time. Matthew went to get ready. I was thinking I was back into a routine. Maybe in a day or two I might go back to running. I had been pumping milk for the baby since Saturday for Friday night date night. I had quite a bit in the freezer. When I would get too much in the fridge I would move it too the freezer. Matthew showed for breakfast. I went to class and Matthew came to dinner. After dinner we went in the family room to watch a kids film with Hunter. I wasn’t feeling well at all. I told Matthew I had to go to our room. Matthew asked Amy to go with me. I just made it to our room before the room started spinning. I asked Amy if she could get me something to throw up in. She found something right away. I asked for a wash rag for my forehead. Amy said, Are you pregnant? I couldn’t open my eyes but said to Amy, I don’t know. Amy said, How would you feel about that if you were. I replied, It would be wonderful but this doesn’t feel the way I felt when I was pregnant. I couldn’t open my eyes and said, I have. Before I could say anything else I passed out. Amy took my pulse and felt my head. She tried to get me to respond but she got no response. She called the clinic and had the doctor run over. She called Matthew and told him what was happening. When the doctor came and looked at me she told Matthew who had just showed up that she had called an ambulance. She said I need to go to the hospital. Matthew went in the ambulance with me. He was really worried. At the hospital they did all kinds of test but couldn’t find anything. The doctor told Matthew I had slipped into a coma and didn’t know why. Matthew called Mom and asked if there was anything wrong with the baby. Mom and Cindy said they checked him all over and said they found nothing wrong with him. Matthew stayed all night. Mostly holding my hand. The doctor called in some specialist but with all the test no one found any thing. Thursday Morning Matthew went home to take a shower and check on the kids. He went to breakfast and told everyone I was in a coma and the doctors couldn’t find out why. The doctor said I was getting worse. Matthew went to talk to Jean. He told him he wanted to start drinking again because of the pain but he was trying not to for the kids. Jean told Matthew he would go to the hospital and if there was no change Matthew could come back to the hospital after he put the kids to bed. Matthew said the kids have always had me there and so I will stay with them awhile after they go to sleep and then go to the hospital. Jean went to the hospital and talked to my doctors and nurses. There was no improvement and they kept running test but can not find the problem. Jean sat with me for many hours and held my hand most of the time. He begged me not to leave the kids. To fight for the kids. Matthew showed up at about 1am and Jean went home for awhile. Jean told Matthew he would come back after class in the morning. Matthew wanted to break down crying but held it back. Matthew said if there wasn’t any change he would go home and have breakfast with the kids and spend time with them. He said his Mom was freaking out.