SUN SEPTEMBER 17

I was dreaming about the first time I had sex with Matthew. I woke up to Matthew giving me a shot. I snapped at him saying drugging me. He said, no I took you to a doctor and he said you needed these drugs to get better because of a really bad infection. I asked, you are not going to drug me? He said, no. Not anymore. I was drugging you so I could give your meds. I said, don’t you worry I will just jump out of here? He said, no. You are still too sick for that. And where would you go? Back to the people who kept you sick or out where the people who hired me to collect you would find you? I said, so when I am well are you going to turn me over to those people? He sat back in his chair and said, no. I took you to my doctor and he wrote a note you are dying and would not make it another month. I gave them their money back and they went away for now. But if you go jumping around they will find you. I said, why did you do that? He said, I have taken a liken to you. Most women I pick up have tattoos all over with piercings. Drink, smoke, do drugs, curse and would cut up a kitten if they were paid enough. You are different. You have a sweet side. I said, so what are you going to do with me. He said, I don’t know yet. I took your temperature and you don’t have one any more. You are doing a lot better. Let’s get you a shower. My eyes got big. I thought I can see what’s comings. He started getting me up but I was having trouble. My legs were weak. He helped and said, don’t worry you will get your footing. You have just been in bed too long. I said, how long have I been here? He replied, three to 4 weeks. To my surprise I said, really? He said, yes you have been really sick and I didn’t know if you were going to make it. I am glad I was sent when I was because any longer and you would have been dead. Besides the guy who had you was talking about selling you before you died. He got me to the shower. I was able to stand, he took my clothes off and turned on the water. He took his shirt and shoes off so he wouldn’t get them wet. He reached around the curtain for the soap and soaped up my back. He then gave me the soap. I started on my arms and thighs. He took some shampoo and put it on my hair. Washing my hair. He then said, can you rinse off yourself. I said, I think so. He said, ok. I am here if you start feeling weak. Be sure you get all the soap off. I stood under the water and took care of my hair first and finally got all the soap from top to bottom. I said, I was done and he turned off the water. He wrapped my hair in a towel. He then wrapped me in a larger towel. He took my hand and help me out of the shower. He dried my hair and then started drying me when I said, I think I need to sit down. He took me back to the bed and sat me down. He finished drying me best he could and then put me back in bed. He said, I made you some old fashion chicken soup. I will be right back. He came back with a large cup full of chicken soup. He sat me up in bed and tested the soup. He said, just right. He fed me a spoon full it was good. I though I must not have eaten since I have been here. This is really good. I said, I can feed myself. He said, great. Here is the soup and spoon. If you eat that there is more. I took a bite and he left. I ate most of it and then set the cup on the table and went to sleep. I don’t know how many hours I was a sleep but when I woke up he was sitting in a chair just smiling at me. He said, How do you feel? I thought for a second and then said, great. I feel really good. He seemed to be happy about that. He sat back in his chair and just watched me. I took the sheet, wrapped it around me and went to the bathroom to pee. Came back and got back in bed. I looked at him and he was smiling from ear to ear. I felt like I was a rabbit and he was a wolf. He took his shirt and shoes off. I said, are you going to rape me? He said, no I am going to make you ask for me. I thought what does that mean, torture? He sat on the bed and put his hand under the sheet felling my stomach. I tried to push him away but I was still too weak. I couldn’t jump. I though I am just stuck with this killer maniac. He leaned over and start nibbling on my ear and then my neck. He moved his hand up to my breast and was rubbing my breast. I thought he is going to rape me. He got in bed next to me and start sucking on my breast and rubbing my enter thighs. He was all over me. He wasn’t rough and wasn’t hurting. It was feeling really good. If we had been dating I wouldn’t have question it but I didn’t even know this man. I tried to fight the feeling but soon couldn’t. He got down between my legs and started kissing my thighs. Soon he moved to my clitoris and vagina with his tongue. My eyes kept wanting to roll back in my head and the feeling that I was going to come was building up when he stopped. He came up to my face and rubbed his privates in his pants against my privates and said, you want me? I said, no. He said, ok, I can do this all night. I looked at his chest. Wow, nice muscles. He started with my neck again and then moved down. Again I thought I was going to come and he stopped. He looked up at me from between my legs and said, want me now? I said, again no. He smiled really big and said, well I am really enjoying myself and like I said, I can do this all night. He came up and started sucking on my neck again. He started whispering sweet things in my ear. I really felt like a rabbit with his hot breath on my neck. He was saying, god you smell so good. I think I love you. Don’t you love me? If you would let me make love to you I could do it all night. Then he worked his way down again. My body was twitching and that feeling was building again. He stopped again and said, please want me. I really think I love you. I thought if I don’t give in we might be here all night. I don’t believe he loves me. I think he just wants to have sex with me. I said, yes, He said, say it. Say, I want you. I finally said, I want you. He went to the end of the bed and took his clothes off. I looked at him and thought wow he is built really good. He got between my legs and rubbed the end of his penis against my clitoris a couple of times and then entered my vagina. It felt so good I was gone. I didn’t know what planet I was on. That feeling started building and building. Suddenly we came at the same time. I came so good it made my toes curl. When we both came back to earth he looked me in my face and said, wow. He got up. Went to the bathroom, put his pants on and left the room. I got up went to the bathroom and cleaned myself up. I got back in bed when he came in the room with another bowl of soup, glass of milk and some pills . He smiled at me and said, you need to take these to keep getting better. I took them with some milk. He handed me the bowl of chicken soup, putting the milk on the end table and left the room. I ate all the soup this time, drank all the milk and went back to sleep. When I woke in the morning I was wearing one of his shirts. I wondered how did that happened? I went to the bathroom and checked the door. It was open. I heard someone in one of the rooms and headed to the sound. It was the kitchen. I went in and he was cooking. He saw me and said, Oh, I am glad you are up. I was fixing you breakfast. Have a seat. I sat down and he put a plate in front of me with scrambled eggs and french toast. He handed me a fork. I tasted the eggs and they were really good. I continued eating and looked up. He was sitting there with his elbow on the table, head in his hand, smiling ear to ear with this starry-eyed look. I stopped eating. I looked at him and said, what? He said, would you marry me? I am the only one in this world who can protect you and I would take very good care of you. I would be the best husband. I have money, live in a nice place and I would make you very happy. I thought I didn’t expect this. If I don’t marry him where will I go. I don’t have any other options and he is a really good cook. If I say no is he going to get really mad. I should try to stay on his good side for now. I said, I bet you say that to all the girls you bring home? He said, No. I have never asked a girl to marry me before. I thought for a bit and then said, yes. He said, oh my god. I have to get you a ring. He started cleaning up the dishes on the stove. He said, I have to call my mom. I have so much to do to get us ready for our wedding. He handed me a glass of milk and said, when you are finished would you go back to bed? You still need a lot of rest. I said, sure. He kissed me on the forehead and said, I do love you and my name is Matthew. I thought this is the manic killer they sent after me. Maybe I am dreaming. Maybe this isn’t real. I pinched myself and it hurt. I thought this is just weird. I opened the door under the sink to find a trash ben. I put some french toast in it that I couldn’t eat. I put my dishes in the sink. Just then I heard a motorcycle. Out the window was a motorcycle going down the long drive from the house and turned on a road. I headed back to bed. I thought he is just crazy and I am stuck in this house with him. He is right I have no where to go. I guess I can play house with him until I find something else. Let’s hope he doesn’t decide to kill me. I don’t think I can do much about it.

Mom woke me up and asked if I was ok? That I had been talking in my sleep. I said, is Matthew here? She sat in the wheel chair right up to the bed and took my hand. Sweety, Matthew isn’t coming back. They think he had an accident. Oh mom? I started crying again. Mom said, I thought Scott told you. I said, I don’t know what I will do with out Matthew. Tears started coming down Mom’s cheek. She said, you have to be strong and take care of these babies. Hunter and the baby love you so much and now you are going to have 2 more to take care of. You will have to be very strong. I said, Your right. Its just so hard. I always thought he would come back. Mom said, I know. She kissed my hand and said, do you need anything? I wiped the tears and said, no. I will try to go back to sleep. She went back to bed and I went back to sleep.