Moving On

Everything was pretty good the next couple of days except when Matthew took my morning readings and did the journal, he sat on the couch and held my hand. Every once in a wild he would kiss my hand and then just sit there and look at me. I couldn’t use my hand to change the tv remote or read a book. I finally turn to him and asked, “Is everything ok?” He responded, “Yes, why do you ask?” I said, “You have not let go of my hand for over and hour and you just sit there and look at me.” Matthew said, “I just love you so much and want you to be happy.” I then said, “I am happy. I am the happiest women in the whole world. I can’t believe you found me. You don’t need to worry about me. How about a kiss?” He gave a really nice loving kiss. I then said, “See I love you very much, so if you need to do something I don’t want you to worry I will be right here.” Mathew said, “Your sure your fine with me working on my table?” I said, “Yes. I’m great and I feel great. Later we are going to go to the gym, pool and hot tub as usually right?” Matthew responded, “Oh, yes.” I said, “Did I met my protein yesterday?” Matthew looked at the journal and said, “Yes, 101 just met it and everything else looks good too.” I said, “That’s great. I feel really good today. Can I have another kiss before you good back to work?” He happily kissed me and said he love me. He was smiling from ear to ear. Looking around he kissed me again and said, “I am going to do some work but will be right here if you need anything at all.” I smiled at him as he got up and went to his table. A while later while I was read and he was on his phone he reached down on the couch, picked up my headphones and put them on my head. What he was talking on the phone it must have been serious.

A couple of nights later I woke up in the middle of the night and had to throw up. I frantically got out of bed and ran to the bathroom stopping at the sink for a dry heave. Matthew was right there and open the toilet lid, put a towel on the floor and moved me to the floor over the toilet. I was one my knees and Matthew was holding my hair when all this food came out. I didn’t even know I had eaten that much dinner. Matthew handed me a hand towel to wipe my face. I just kept heaving and moaning. Matthew said, “Just get it all out and you will be fine.” Just when I though I was done and maybe able to go back to bed I jumped leaving Matthew in the bathroom cussing and screaming. Matthew said, “What the fuck? Where the fuck did you go? Damn, fuck, shit, Mother fucking shit. I can’t stand this.” He paced from the bathroom to the bedroom, to the bathroom to the bedroom. He sat down on the bed and started praying out loud. Matthew prayed, “If you can here me please, please come back. If you can hear me please, I love you and need you please come back to me. I am begging you with everything I have to please hear me. Come home.”

All of a sudden I was at home standing in front of Matthew. He looked shock. I was wearing a white pair of pants with a flowered full length dress and no bra. He got up and hugged me. He kissed me and asked where did you go. I said, “I have got to lay down. Everything in my body hurts. Matthew helped me take the dress and pants off and got me into bed. I finished saying,” I don’t understand what happened or why. I hate this jumping! I think it was the same mall. I was down at one end of the mall and it had a large library that you had go between these turnstiles to get in. A cross from me was a medical school where students were attending a lecture. One of the women students closest to the window looked strange at me. I looked down and was wearing these white pants but no top or bra. I covered my breast with my arm and headed toward a lady at a high desk in front of a clothing store. I told her I seemed to have lost my blouse and did she have anything I could use? She told me no, that everything in the store was very expensive. Just then a women came out of the store and over heard my problem. She said, “let me see if I can help you.” I don’t remember her giving me this dress but I guess she did. I started begging forgiveness from Matthew. I was so sorry and didn’t do it on purpose. I said, “Please please forgive me.” Matthew kissed me on the forehead and said, “don’t worry everything is going to be fine.” I passed out. I was so drained and tired. Matthew took my readings and noted everything in the journal. He then called the doctor. He want a nurse to come and stay for a couple of weeks.