The baby woke me up a little after 11pm. I took care of the baby and then put him back in Matthew’s shirt. When I went to my side of the bed Hunter was sound a sleep. I felt like I needed to be next to Matthew so I put Hunter in her bed and slipped into bed. I put my head on Matthew’s shoulder. He felt so nice. I was on my side so my right boob was in the wrong place. When I moved it it was kind of on Matthew’s chest. Matthew opened one eye and gave me this strange look. I felt really good there and fell right to sleep. Matthew woke me up about 30 minutes later and said, How do you expect me to sleep with that nipple staring me in my face. I didn’t know what to say. He said move back over there. So I moved over, grabbed my pillow to sleep on and went back to sleep. Later again Matthew woke me and said he couldn’t sleep with me right there and asked if I wanted to have sex. I didn’t know what to say. Last time my answer was wrong. While I was trying to figure out the answer he said, Maybe I wanted to have sex with Jean. My eyes got big and I said, why did you say that? Amy said she saw Jean hugging you during class. I responded, Jean wasn’t hugging me. I went to the back of the class because I thought I was going to throw up. I told you that. Matthew almost grinding his teeth said, Yes but you left out the part about Jean hugging you. I said, Jean was not hugging me. He came back just as I was going to pass out and asked if I was ok. I said I think I am going to pass out. He grabbed me so I wouldn’t fall down and hurt myself. Because there was a nice breeze back there the problem passed and he went back to teaching the class. I got up and went to pee. I think we were too loud and woke the baby. Matthew was sitting on the bed rocking the baby. I laid down on the bed and Matthew said to me, could you put something on so I can get some sleep. I got up and looked at the clothes. I found one of Matthew’s shirts and put it on. It covered everything well. Got back in bed on my pillow and shut my eyes. Matthew put the baby in his shirt and laid back down to sleep. He turned to me and said, I meant for you to put something of yours on. I looked a Matthew and he had this disapproval look on his face. I got up again and looked through the clothes and found something to wear. I then went back to bed. I shut my eyes but couldn’t sleep. What was the correct answer? This whole thing was really bugging me. I heard Matthew and opened my eyes. He had kissed the sound asleep baby on top of his head and had his little hand rapped around his little finger. I was surprised at him being awake. I said, are you still mad about the Jean thing. He was almost grinding his teeth again. Maybe to stop from saying something. Then he said, No. I am upset because you have kept me up almost all night and now I don’t know how I am going to get to work. I replied, If you had said something about Jean earlier this evening I could have cleared that up. I moved Hunter because I wanted to be close to you and didn’t know it would bother you. I am sorry I wouldn’t have done that if I knew it was going to bother you. He said, Why don’t you take the baby and I will try to go to work. I said, do you want me to go sleep on the floor. He said, No, but you could take the kids and go to Mom’s. I looked at the clock. It was 3:42am. What would mom think? I got up. Called Cindy and found clothes. He said, You are going to Mom’s? I said, yes. Maybe if you can get a couple of hours of sleep you can save some of your day. At Mom’s door she had to get up and let us in. She wasn’t happy. The kids were in their little roll beds sound asleep. Mom got back in bed and said to me, you can sleep in the extra bed but I am not giving you mine at this time of night. Cindy sat in the chair and I tried to sleep in the extra bed. My stomach was killing me so I had to get up and go in the bathroom. I tried throwing up but nothing came up. I went back to bed but this time when I shut my eyes I was out.
I heard this voice you need to wake up. Someone was sitting on the side of the bed and was rubbing my back. Someone who smelled like mint. I opened my eyes and it was Jean. I looked to see what I was wearing. I was wearing the lounging pj’s that mom bought me. I said, What are you doing here? Jean replied, Mom called Matthew and said she couldn’t get you up. Since Matthew is working on a new project he sent me. I looked around and everyone was gone. Jean smelled like mint. No one else smelled like mint. Jean said, Can you get up and come to breakfast? I sat up and my stomach turned over. I said, Yes and headed for the bathroom. I tried to throw up in the sink. Nothing came up. I peed and brushed my teeth. I came out and said, what am I going to do about Matthew. I don’t want to make him unhappy. Jean said, Matthew is upset because he feels he has been making too many mistakes and missing too many things. He fells he is becoming soft and thinks he has lost his edge. He is a perfectionist, very competitive and can’t deal with making mistakes. He beats himself up about mistakes. He needs his routine and to control things to go his way or he can’t function at 100%. I said, Ok. I will try harder. Matthew asked me if I wanted to have sex and I said, sure. He was very unhappy about that response but I didn’t know what he wanted me to say. Jean said, I don’t know about that but if you help him stay on his routine when he is finished with his new project maybe everything else will work its way out. Now lets go to breakfast. I went in and sat down. They had a place and a special plate for Jean. Amy didn’t look happy about the whole thing. Jean told Mom that Matthew was working on a new project and needed Angel and the kids to stay with her maybe a week. Jean said that is why he sent me over instead of coming himself. That we would not see him until his project was done and if we needed something to call him. Mom said that was fine. She said she loved having Angel and the kids with her. He told the same thing to Amy and Cindy. To call him if they needed anything. When my breakfast came it looked great as unusual but the egg smelled really bad. I decided to start with the toast. Once I got one piece down I started felling better. Sean had fruit and cheese with a large glass of orange juice. Mom noticed I wasn’t feeling well and said to me, How are you doing dear? I turned to her and said, I wasn’t feeling well but I seem to be better now. I managed to get three pieces of toast down. I tried the hash browns but the oil didn’t agree with me. When breakfast was over Jean thanked Mom for the nice breakfast. He told me if I needed to talk about something call and he was going back to work. We all went and sat in the living room. I held the baby and Mom was holding Hunter. We had a nice time there until time for me to go to class. Mom gave Hunter to Cindy and I gave the baby to Mom. I told her I would be right back after class. In class I was thinking how I was going to make this day count and I had not only messed up Matthews day but I had messed up my day.
I started feeling better but at lunch I still couldn’t eat much. There was mashed potatoes on my plate. They went down well. Mom called Jean at the end of lunch and told him I wasn’t eating. We went to the family room again and Jean showed up. Jean said to me, Matthew sent me to take you to the clinic to get a blood test. We went to the clinic and it was a quick visit. The doctor asked how I was feeling? Checked me over a little and took a blood test. I went back to the family room with everyone. Later I went to the gym. I didn’t see Matthew all day but then I thought about Jean saying we wouldn’t see him until he was done with his project. This will be good if I can straighten myself out when he comes back he will be happy with me. I went to sleep wondering why everything went from really great to such a mess. And why does everything smell so bad?
Matthew didn’t go to sleep at 4am when Angel and the kids left. He wasn’t happy with himself and decided to go to security and work on himself. He had a special temperature controlled room built for training and testing that was in the basement.