Its Monday and I am starting to feel better but I still have this sick numb feeling. Matthew started sleeping on the bed. It is a queen so there is plenty of room. I was sleeping on his shoulder and the baby was on his chest. I pulled Hunter’s crib against my side of the bed hoping she wouldn’t feel left out. She woke up in the middle of the night and found out if she put her foot between the bars she could push up on the bed and pull up and over the bars onto the bed. She crawled between me and Matthew. She woke me up and I said, “Where did you come from?” I couldn’t sleep on Matthew’s shoulder because she made herself at home between me and Matthew. She was happy there and was going back to sleep but decided she would try and stick her hand in my blouse and try and find a breast. I took her hand out and told her if she was going to stay here she had to go to sleep or I would put her back in her crib. She gave me an unhappy look but went to sleep. It was really nice all four of us together. I saw Matthew open one eye and look at what she was doing and smiled. He knew she felt left out. Matthew and I went to the gym in the afternoon and I did a little better but Matthew had set the machines on the lowest settings and still had to help me. The hot was great and I felt better afterwards. When we took a shower I sat on a stool and he washed my hair. He kept rubbing up against me. I think he was trying to find out if I was interested in sex. I didn’t really feel anything with this sick feeling. I really hoped it goes away tomorrow.
It’s Tuesday and last night Hunter had a fit when I put her in her bed. She wasn’t going to stand for us sleeping together and her in her crib by herself. I took her out and put her between Matthew and me where she was happy all night. She still kept putting her hand in my blouse and I had to make her stop. I gave her a kiss and told her she needed to go to sleep. She is just so wonderful. I think she doesn’t understand why I breast feed the baby and not her. She is so cute. I thought about it but I just don’t feel well enough to breast feel two. Matthew and I went to the gym in the afternoon again. My day was eating, sleeping, breast feeding the baby and exercise. I think I am feeling better. Matthew still had to hand me the bars and set the machines on the lowest but it wasn’t as hard as yesterday. After exercising Matthew took me to one of the massage rooms. He had me get on the table, put some oil on me and massaged my whole body. When he was done my legs especially from the knees down felt really good. We went to the showers were Matthew pinned my hair up. He said it didn’t need washing everyday and we had a shower. He kept rubbing against my back and front with his manhood. You could tell he really wanted to make love to me. A couple of times he kissed me on my neck and told me he loved me more than anything. We had a great dinner and all slept together in the same bed with Mom on her bed. It was just a really nice day.
Today is Wednesday. The day went really well . Mostly like Monday. Everyone slept together. Had great meals and went to the gym. Today at the gym Matthew didn’t have to set the machines for me. I set them and reached for the bars. I wasn’t able to do that until today. I still had to put the machines on the lowest settings but I could do it by myself. The hot tub and shower was really nice. Matthew was still rubbing up against me. Today he gave me a really great kiss and told me how much he loved me. It made me feel good. He really wanted his wife back and then his life would be complete.
Today is Thursday. Today went really well. We all slept together and had great meals. When we went to the gym, I set the machines and did the exercises by myself. I might be ready to move it up a notch on the weights. I am feeling really good about that. Matthew took me to the massage room and gave me a full massage. I felt so good after that. Matthew gave me a shower and sat me on the stool while he did his shower. I was sitting there looking at at him with his manhood full erect and his six pack. I thought wow he looks so good. I remember when he came out of the shower in our room and I was thinking I want that. He turned off the shower and looked at me. He noticed I was staring at him. He gave me this really big smile. He stood me up pushed me gently against the wall. Rubbing against me he gave me this really passionate kiss. Reached out of the shower and took my towel and wrapped it around me. Opening the curtain he took his towel stepped out and started drying off so I did the same. I must be feeling better if I am looking at him. That gloom and doom seems to be fading. I am starting to think about things. What I want to eat, do and say.
Today is Friday. I woke up when the baby woke us up at four am but I felt really good and didn’t feel like going back to sleep. Matthew decided to get dressed and to go to security since he hadn’t been there for over a week. He had been by my side every minute since I came back. I took care of the baby and then put him on some pillows next to Hunter. I got dressed, brushed my hair and teeth. I was sitting in a chair looking at a baby catalogue when mom woke up at six. She noticed I was up and Matthew was out. I gave her a hug and told her how I was feeling really good today. She was so happy about that. She saw the babies sleeping on the bed and said she loved them so much. She got dressed, then sat and decided what she wanted to do today. Matthew came back and at breakfast time I got the kids up and we went to breakfast. At breakfast Matthew told his mom we should really move back to our room but Mom ask if he couldn’t wait another week. She still wasn’t completely over what happened. Matthew said it wasn’t a problem he just thought she might want her room back. He told us he was going to start going to security a couple of hours everyday and I told him I was fine with that. At the gym I moved the weights up one. On some it was fine but on others I had to leave them where they were for now. I was really happy about that. In a week I had come out of my fog and started to feel normal. In the hot tub Matthew kept kiss and hugging me. In the shower Matthew gave me a shower. Rubbing the soap around my breast and kissing me on the neck. He moved me against the wall and gave me a really passionate kiss. I had my hand on his back and moved it down his back. He felt really good. He turned me around and rubbing against me in back while he reached around my front and started rubbing my colitis with one hand and my breast with the other. All I could think was this is really nice. Oh my god this feels good. I came and I came really hard. You could tell Matthew was really happy about that. He took me over to the stool and bent me over and put my hands on the stool. He reached out of the shower and got a tub of lube and applied to my back door. When he put his finger in there. So many good feelings when through my body. Then he slowly put himself in. I wanted to scream it felt so good. I had all these hormones running around in my body. He made very loving sex with me and I thought I was going to come again. I was melting in ecstasy. After wards he showered me and him making sure everything was clean. He kept kissing me and hugging me while we were drying off and getting dressed. He was so happy. He felt like his wife was back. At dinner he had this happy glow about him. He had his family and he was on top of the world. All his life he was a lonely angry person. He never really had friends and felt the only person he could depend on was himself. He never though he would have a family that makes him so happy. He loved his mom and now knew he could depend on her. He was determined that no one was ever going to take his family away from him again. He was going to find the guy who did it to him and show people what happens to people who mess with him and his life. When we when to bed I feed the baby and Hunter was still trying to put her hand in my shirt for a breast. I felt so good I thought why not. So I moved her close to me and gave her a breast. Her eyes lit up. She was so happy and now really felt like part of the family. Matthew opened one eye and saw me breast feeling Hunter. He gave me a big smile. He went back to sleep thinking he wanted everyday to be like today. He didn’t know he could be so happy. While Hunter was breast feeding a new feeling came over me. I felt like for the first time I was really her mother. I had bonded with her and was so happy she was mine. After a few minutes she fell asleep from the warm milk. I put her between us and then we all had a great nights sleep.