FRIDAY SEPTEMBER 29 I woke up from a terrible nightmare. I opened my eyes to see if it was real. I saw Mom sleeping with Hunter between us. Oh, thank god it was a nightmare and not real. I dreamed Scott slipped Mom some Ipecac into her food to make her throw up so he could take her to the clinic and get them to keep her for the night. Then he came back to my room, handcuffed me to the bed, put a gold banded wedding ring on my finger and had sex with me. I think I had this nightmare because Scott is pressuring me to marry him. I feel nothing sexual toward him. I like him. He is a great guy and like Mom said he will be a great father and husband. I hope I fall in love with him by the time the twins are born. I just don’t know how I can be a good wife if I am still in love with Matthew. I really need an attitude adjustment. I will not think bad things and have terrible night mares about such a wonder man. I will only think good things from now on. Before I go to sleep I will think really good things about Scott. Mom said I just need time and it had only been a few weeks since the news. I understand why Serena wanted more answers. If you see a loved ones body I think it helps you move on, but all we got was news of a possible accident. At breakfast Scott put Wyatt between Mom and him. Then he put Hunter on his other side between him and me. Daniela was looking at Scott. She noticed how good looking he was since he had been going to the gym. Scott had clean clothes on, his hair was perfect and so was his clothes. He looked like he belonged on the cover of a magazine. Jack said quietly to her, Shut your mouth and eat your breakfast. Daniela said, I wasn’t doing anything. Jack said, oh you always look at guys with your mouth open. They argued a few minute’s and Jack got up and left. Once Scott was giving Hunter her juice and Wyatt saw him . Wyatt took some food off his plate and tried to throw it at Hunter but got Scott instead. Scott was not happy. He told Wyatt if he did that again he was going to put him on the other side of the table. Wyatt hung his head. Wyatt didn’t want to sleep in his bed tonight because Hunter was sleeping with us. Mom put him on the bed between Hunter and her. He looked at Hunter with this see I can sleep here look. She didn’t look too happy but went to sleep. Mom said to him he had to go to sleep or he was going back in his bed. It worked tonight but don’t know if it will work again. He doesn’t want Hunter there. I had a talk with myself before I went to sleep. I told myself about how wonderful our wedding was going to be. I thought I should kiss him now and only think about him and me. I should have dreams about how happy we will be and having sex with him will be so great. Just look at how the other women look at him. I couldn’t ask for a better man.
SATURDAY SEPTEMBER 30 I woke about 1:30am. I was so sick to my stomach, I felt hot and dizzy. I reached over and touched Mom. Mom could you get something for me to throw up in. She woke up, got up and went to the bathroom returning with the small trash bin. She said, do you need anything else? I said, could you get an ice pack for my head. I feel hot and dizzy. She went to the kitchen. Paul heard something going on and saw Mom come back from the kitchen. He went to Scott’s room, opened the door and Scott opened his eyes. Paul said, something is going on in Mom’s room. Scott jumped out of bed. Put his pants and shoes on. He went to Mom’s room. He said to Mom, what is going on. She told him I had woke her up because I was sick. Scott knelt by the bed and said to me, are you ok? I looked at this Adonis of a man with no shirt, smiled really big and said, my knight is here. He took my hand and kissed it. I said, I felt like throwing up, really hot and dizzy. I also have to pee and can’t get up. He got a bag off the dresser and sat on the bed next to me. He took my temperature, blood pressure and blood sugar. He said, everything looks good. Do you still feel dizzy? I said, not any more but still sick to my stomach and have to go to the bathroom really bad. He sat me up in bed. He then put me in wheel chair. He took me to the bathroom and sat me on the toilet. I peed a lot. He put me back in the chair and out of the bathroom. He told Mom he was going to put me in her bed where he could watch me and she can get some sleep. Mom said, Thankyou Scott and went back to bed. He took me in Mom’s room and put me in her bed. He said, do you still need the pail? I said, no but I need it where I can reach it just in case. He put it next to the bed and said, try to go back to sleep. He sat in the chair. I shut my eyes and was thinking if he sits in the chair all night he will be too tired tomorrow to do anything. I open my eyes and said, That chair can’t be too comfortable. Why don’t you take off your shoes and take a nap on this pillow. I will tell you if I start feeling bad again. He looked surprised. He got up, took his shoes off and laid down on the bed. He turned toward me and said, if you need me I am right here. I smiled and went to sleep. Scott woke me up kissing me on my forehead. He was sitting on the bed next to me on my side. When I opened my eyes up he asked how I was doing? I thought for a few minutes and said, good. Much better. He said, can you get up and go to breakfast? I said, I will get up and go to the bathroom and if everything is fine when I come out. I think I am going to be fine. I went to the bathroom and when I came out I said to Scott, I think it was the onions. Maybe I can’t eat onions any more. He say he would have the kitchen make a note on my food list and see if it happens again if you don’t have any onions. I put on my robe, got in the wheel chair and we went to eat. I touched Scott’s hand and said, thankyou for staying with me last night. He said, you don’t need to thank me. I love you very much and want to help you any way I can. At breakfast everything was going great and I was feeling good. When they brought Josh the man who goes with Megan a cup of coffee. The smell took my breath away and my stomach turned over. I started coughing really bad. I took my robe and put it over my face and tried to stop coughing. I took one hand and tried to move away from the table. I threw up a little in my mouth. Scott saw what I was doing and got up and took the wheel chair out side. I was so sick. I finally stopped coughing. I said to Scott could you take me back to my room I need to throw up. He took me to the bathroom, sat the wheel chair next to the toilet and gave me the trash pin. I asked for a wet wash cloth for my face. I was starting to feel better. I said, I am so sorry I didn’t want to spoil every ones breakfast but I can’t stand the smell of coffee. I takes my breath away and turns my stomach. I liked coffee before I got pregnant. He said, that is what caused this? I said, yes. I am sorry. He kissed me on my forehead and said don’t worry about it. How are you doing now? I said, much better. He said, I am going to put you back in bed and bring you breakfast. Do you think you can eat it? I said, I think so. He put me back in bed and in a few minutes he returned from the kitchen with a new tray of food. I started eating slowly and it tasted really good. I cleaned the tray in no time at all. Then thought I could eat another tray. I ate all day long. When ever I could get a chance. After lunch I went to see Serena. We talked mostly about baby names. She was trying to pick one she thought Sean would have wanted. Afterward Scott and I went in the pool. He was in a really playful mood. He put his arm under my right arm and stretched out our other arms locking our hands and said, let’s dance. He stepped back and forth around the pool. We went in circles and laughed. Then he stopped. He got behind me and pulled me close to him. He rubbed against me a couple of times. His manhood was ready. So ready. I mean really ready. I could feel him through my bathing suit. He reached around under my stomach and started rubbing between my legs. My body twitched with excitement. I felt like I was going to melt in his arms. I didn’t feel the water just him. His hot breath was on my neck. He started sucking on my neck. He moved his hand under my bathing suit and with two fingers he entered my vagina. My whole body was saying this feels so good. I so want Scott. He went in and out several times and soon I came. Wow, that was great and now know I can be a good wife. I can quit worrying about the fact I had no feelings. I have them now. He took his fingers out of my bathing suit and stopped. He didn’t move for a few seconds. I could still feel he was ready for sex. I could feel he wanted me so bad. Then he said, we better go in. He took me to the steps and helped me out of the pool. He quickly put a towel around his waist. He took me to my room so I could take my nap. He said, I will be in the gym if you need me. At dinner Paul showed at the door to take us to eat. He said, Scott was busy and couldn’t make it. He put my chair at the end next to Mom. He then put Wyatt, Cindy, Hunter and him. I started thinking Scott was unhappy with me. I must have done something he didn’t like. Maybe he didn’t like fooling around in the pool. He did stop and we came in. I most likely did something really wrong. He must hate me. I wanted to cry. I couldn’t eat. It was eating me up inside that I must have done something. Mom asked if I was ok. My bottom lip was quivering. I looked at her on the verge of crying and said, he hates me. I rolled my chair back and went back to my room. I got in bed and cried myself to sleep. Mom called Scott and he didn’t answer. Everyone at the table was just watching and wondering what happened. Mom asked Paul where was Scott. Paul said, in his room. Mom sent Paul to get Scott. Scott showed with his pants and shoes. No shirt. Everyone just looked at him. Mom said, did you and Angel have an argument? Everyone at the table had stopped eating and was just waiting to see what he was going to say. He said, no. Mom said, she left the table crying saying you hate her. Scott said, No, I don’t hate her. Not at all. Mom said, Could you go talk to her? Scott said, sure. Scott came in my room and I was a sleep. He sat on the bed. My back was to him. He started rubbing my back, then gently shook my shoulder and said, are you awake.? Can I talk to you? I turned over on my back. My eyes were red and I thought I was going to cry again. Why did you leave the table? I said, You hate me. He said, I don’t hate you. I said, you didn’t come to dinner because of the pool. He put his hands under my arms and sat me up in bed. He said, I don’t hate you. I said, why didn’t come to dinner? He put his hand under my chin and raised my face so he could look me in my eyes. He said, I love you so much that I can’t control myself when I am around you. I want to put my hands on you, I want to constantly touch you, I want to kiss you and I want to make love to you when ever I am near you. I can’t control myself and this has never happened to me before. I am worried you are going to hate me because I feel like I am pushing you to be with me and marry me. I was worried you were unhappy with me because of what happened in the pool. I said, I am not unhappy with you. I enjoyed the affection from you. He said, I just couldn’t stand the fact that you might start to hating me. That you might resent my advances. I said, I don’t hate you. I think I am in love you. He said, You are? He smiled really big. He said, can I kiss you? I smiled and said, yes. He gave this really nice kiss and then hugged me. He said, will you tell me if you don’t like something so I won’t worry? I said, yes. But you are so wonderful I don’t think I will ever be unhappy with you. He said, I have really been trying because I love you so much and the kids very much. I can’t wait to see the new babies and the life we will have together. I can wait to be your husband. I smiled really big. He said, you need to eat. I am going to go get you some food. He went and told Mom everything was fine. It was just a misunderstanding. He went to get some dinners. Everyone looked at him and then one of the cooks said to the other, I guess our protein drinks are working. The other one said, I think so. I think I am going to start drinking them. Scott returned with a cart and 2 dinners. He sat in a chair and I sat in bed. We ate our dinners. Mom came in and said, we are going to the family room to watch tv and play with the kids. Do you guys want to come? Scott looked at me and said, do you want to go? I said, if you do. Scott said, after I clean up here I have to change and will be right in. Scott took me to the family room and then went to change. When he came back he sat next to me with arm around me until Hunter and Wyatt started climbing all over him. We smiled at each other and kind of laughed. They wanted to sit between us, so we let them. Wyatt insisted in sitting next to Scott. Hunter was not happy with that. That is where she wanted to sit. She thought that is her Scott. She crossed her arms and went “Huff”. When Scott took us to our room Mom wanted to talk to him outside. Mom said to Scott, Angel said she wanted a to take a shower and wash her hair. She said, she is afraid of the tub and she is going to ask you to take her to the gym. She handed him a key and said, we have a private shower at the gym but it probably has Matthew’s stuff in there. Could you take his stuff out before you take her there? He looked at the key and said I have a shower in my room. Could she take a shower there? Mom said, I think that would be better idea. She is very delicate and going to the gym might not be a good think for her. Scott said, don’t worry. I will take good care of her. Tonight I slept with really good with good dreams.
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