I woke this morning feeling good. The baby’s were kicking but I was glad. It helped assure me that they were ok. At breakfast Scott set Hunter between him and Mom. He set Wyatt between him and me. Cindy and Amy moved to my right side so Daniela could sit next to Mom on the other side of the table. At lunch Mom got a phone call from Carlson. He said he had Connor on the phone. Mom put it on speaker and said, Hello. The voice said, this is Conner. Mom said, nice to hear your voice. I haven’t heard from you for a long time. Conner said, I know I should have called more often. I called to say, how sorry for the pain you and Angel must be feeling from the loss of Matthew. He was like a brother to me and I will miss him greatly. Mom said, thankyou. It has been hard. Conner said, I am coming out next week to talk to Carlson about helping out with Matthew’s project next door. I am going to stop in to see you. Mom said, that will be nice. I can’t wait to see you. Connor said, If there is anything I can do for you let me know. Mom said, Thankyou Conner. He said, Bye until next week and hung up. Mom said to me, that is one of Matthew’s closest friends. He has know him since high school. It will be nice to see him again. Scott took me for my daily swim. Then he would bring me back for my nap, he would go to the gym and then show up at dinner with nice clean clothes and smelling good. Mom noticed that. After dinner we went to the family room to play with the kids and watch movies. Scott helped me sit on the floor and then he sat on the floor and we played with the kids. Mom told Cindy and Amy they could do what ever they wanted that Scott was taking care of everything. I don’t know what they did. After a couple of hours the kids feel asleep on the floor and Scott sat next to me with his arm around my shoulder while we watched a the movie ‘Groundhog Day’. Mom noticed. She thought, should he be so close to her? She is still married and going to have Matthew’s children. But maybe it is a good thing to help her through this. But Matthew is not coming back and she does need a man she can depend on. Scott is a good man. Maybe it is a good thing. He does love the kids. I felt really good but I fell asleep on Scott’s shoulder. When the movie was over Scott said to Mom, I am going to take the kids back to your room and then come get Angel. Mom said, ok. Scott woke me up and said it was time to go to bed. He said, just sit here till I get the kids to bed. Scott picked up Hunter and with Mom they went to the bedroom. Scott returned for Wyatt and then me. He put one hand under each of my arms and put me in the wheel chair. He took me to Mom’s room. He hugged Mom and said, if you need anything just call. Mom said, thankyou Scott. She shut the door when he left thinking he is taking really good care of them. I slept really good. If everyday would go like this until I have the babies it would be great. I still have until January.
SATURDAY SEPTEMBER 23 I woke up feeling really good. If I get enough good sleep and watch what I eat my feet don’t swell up. These are the last children I will ever have. But four is enough. I don’t think I could ever marry another man. It’s like all the wanting of a man was just knocked out of me. Maybe I will feel different after I have the babies. It still bothers me I can’t remember my childhood or my parents. I also wonder if my children will be jumpers? At breakfast after we ate Scott picked up Wyatt in his left arm and told Hunter to stand up. He then scooped her up with his right arm and with a big smile carried them to the family room. I believe he really loves them. He would be a great father but the only problem is I can’t be a wife. I don’t know what to do about that. Hopefully that will all change after the twins are born. Today was another good day. Went for a swim, had a nap and played with the kids. At dinner there was a problem. That feeling was back that I could eat a steak raw. I told Scott and he went to the kitchen and ask them to ad a protein drink to my meal. They also sent some to our room so I could drink one at bedtime and one when I got up. I now understand that scene in Rosemary’s Baby where she eats the steak raw.
SUN SEPTEMBER 24 Today was another really nice day. Scott has been making everyone’s day nice. He has Hunter staying in her high chair and feeding herself. When she will not listen to him he acts like she is not in the room. She hates that and straightens up right away. He jokes with her when she starts making her faces that she makes when she is not happy. He pulls out Mom’s chair for her at breakfast and tells her how great she is. She says he is her other son by another mother. He says things like, I have 3 women running my life and I love it. He invited Paul to eat with us. Since he is up all night he might come for dinner. Mom said, Serena’s mom is coming back tomorrow. That Serena’s mom was asleep while Serena did what she did and is not to blame. She will have a guard who will bring her over for meals and the two will eat with us. Because he is up at night now he may come for dinner. I picked out 3 names each for a girl and then a boy. I decided I wanted Alexander for the boy and Skylar for the girl. I showed the names to Mom and asked her which ones she thought were good and she picked out the same ones. I decided to ask Scott at breakfast. I asked him and he picked out the same ones. So I have their names and will start calling the twins by name. Skylar and Alexander. Scott brought a note pad at dinner and after dinner we went to the family room because they always have movies for the kids on Sunday night. Scott wanted to know if I had my own place what it would look like. I told him I would want a large bedroom with a king size bed. I don’t know when I will be able to let the kids sleep in their own room. I would like a tv to watch Mr. Ed. A big bathroom with a walk in tub so I could give the kids a shower or bath. I want a large back yard so the kids can have a swing set. I didn’t know if I should say this to Scott but I said, what would you want in a family home? He said, I would like a large patio with a cover so if it rains or is hot. A big sliding door so I could see what is going on outside with the kids. It should have a safe room. I don’t know if it should be inside or underground. I think I am healthy and things are going well. I eat, sleep and watch TV. I am trying to enjoy it because when the twins are born I will not get much sleep. The only problem was at breakfast I almost called Scott, Matthew. I thought I am so glad I caught myself.