Scott woke me up this morning and asked how I was feeling. I was feeling good. He didn’t make love to me last night. I think he thought I needed the sleep. He said, You need to get a shower and I need to wash your hair. Are up for that? I smiled really big and said, yes. That twinkle in his eye was back. As I was getting up I asked how he was doing? He gave me a big kiss and said, Great. I love you so much and am so happy. We are going to try and take it easy today but still stay on schedule. I want to talk to Mom about Thanksgiving and Christmas. Mom said they put out stakes in her back yard for the new rooms. Our new home. His happiness was making me feel really good. I love it when he kisses me. I wanted to put my arms around him and get him to kiss me more but my stomach was in the way. I smiled really big and said, Wow, that is great! He was helping me to the bathroom and said, let me know if you are tired today and I will let you rest some where. I said, ok. He got me in the shower like last time and again I could tell he want to make love to me. I think he just couldn’t figure out how to do it in the shower. When he put me out of the shower he said, my clothes were on the chair. I looked at him while he was wrapping me in the towel. He looked really good and was really ready for business. When he reached around to my back with the towel his penis touched my stomach. I smiled really big. He looked at me. I think he knew what I was thinking. He smiled back. I must have missed him last night because I was wishing I could figure out how to do it in the shower. They say the farther along a woman gets the less she is interested in sex. I haven’t seen that with me yet. Well, after the twins are born we can have showers everyday if we want. After breakfast we went to the family room. I was getting out of the chair and onto the couch when I felt dizzy. Scott called the nurse and she came over. She checked me out and said, my blood pressure was running high. If it happened again, to laying on my right side for a few minutes and then check my blood presser again. Sometimes the doctor has to put patients in the hospital. She keeps them in bed or their right side until they have the baby. I said, Oh dear, I hope that doesn’t happen. Scott said he was going to start checking my blood pressure several times during the day. I thought if the babies are due around January 12, I still have about 3 months. Three months in bed on my right side would be hard. Maybe I am eating too much salt? I was hoping it wouldn’t happen.
The rest of the day I was fine. Scott said my blood pressure was running a little high but not bad. He said maybe I need more magnesium in my diet. When I went to take my nap Scott said to always try to sleep on my right side. When I was going to sleep that night I was hoping I would be fine until the babies are born. I started dreaming of the wonderful life we are going to have.
MONDAY OCTOBER 16 I woke up early around 4am wrapped in Scott’s arms. I felt so good. I tried to slip out of bed with out waking him but it didn’t work. He smiled at me and said, where a you going? I smiled and said, just going to pee. He said, hurry back. I will be missing you. I slipped back into bed. I move up against him with my back. He felt so good. So warm. He covered me back with the sheet. I felt so good with his arm around me I went right back to sleep. I am so excited about the life we are going to have with 4 kids and a new home. Today was just a good day. It went fast. I was in really good spirits. My harness fit just right today, so when I got up my stomach was sitting in it just right. Sleeping in Scott’s room with him is just so great. Life is good.
TUESDAY OCTOBER 17 This was another good day. When I got up this morning I was feeling really good and looking forward to the day. I have 11 weeks left. If everything goes like this week I should be fine.
WEDNESDAY OCTOBER 18 I messed up last night. I woke up a little after 1am. I got up and went to pee. This is something I have to do all the time. I came back to bed and Scott raised the sheet up and I slipped back into bed. He felt so good. His was right there at my shoulder. I started kiss it it. He said, if you keep doing that I will have to do something about it. I smiled really big and said, you will. He said, yes. He took his arm off of my shoulder and slipped his hand under my leg to in front under my stomach. He rubbed me a couple of times and them wriggled his fingers under my pull ups and two of them into my vagina. It felt really good. He moved them in and out a couple of times and then took them out. He raised my leg higher and move my pull ups out of the way from behind and put himself in my vagina. He put his hand from underneath to my front again and pushed from the front under my stomach. He started going in an out. It felt really good. After a little bit I didn’t feel I was building up to come. Only a massage. I though what is wrong? I really want him. I don’t know how long it took but finally he came. I never felt anything but a good massage. I was worried he knew I didn’t come. I was worried he would think I was unhappy. He got up and went to the bathroom and came back. He got back under the sheet, wrapped his arm over me and we went to sleep. It was really nice but I have no idea what was wrong with me. I hope this is just a pregnancy thing. He did say anything but I was worried he would say something. The rest of the day was good. I seem to have a lot of energy and not tired a lot.
THURSDAY OCTOBER 19 I woke up around 11:30pm to pee. I got up and hurried to pee. When I came back I thought I am not going to mess with him again. If I don’t come he might get upset. I thought about getting married because this is like married and seems to agree with me. I am so glad we found each other. Trying to get over Matthew might have been much harder and I might have gotten sick. I would not have wanted to hurt the twins. I still miss him. He was a wonderful husband. He brought me here and gave me a nice home with soon to be 4 kids. I really wanted to surprise him with the twins. I shouldn’t think about him. I could get upset. He will always have a place in my heart. I went back to sleep. Around 1:30am Scott was trying to get out of bed without waking me up. I turned over and looked at him. He said, I was going to go work on my paper. Is that ok with you? I said, yes. But, I will just miss you. He started getting back in bed and said, well maybe I should do something so you will not miss me so much. He started nibbling on my neck and ear. He was giving such passionate love. He reached under my stomach and was rubbing me down there. His hot breath of wanting felt so good on my neck. He stopped and got out of bed. He pulled me around to the edge of the bed. He kissed my stomach and said, I love you guys so much. He took my pull ups off. He took one leg in each hand and raised them high and wide. He then put himself inside of me. It felt so good I wanted to scream that this feels so great. He then put one hand on each breast. He started rubbing them. He felt so good. Everything he was doing felt so good. I became lost. I was starting to come. I was gasping for air. We came at the same time. It was so great. After a minute or two he took a cloth and wiped me off. He said, do you need to go to the bathroom? I said, not right now. He got me tucked back in bed and gave me a big kiss. He said, sweet dreams. I shut my eyes and was gone. I slept really good. Today I ate like a pig and it was warm out so I got a lot of exercise in the pool. The kids are so cute. Hunter is calling Scott daddy. Since we are getting married after I have the twins I didn’t say anything. Mom noticed it and she didn’t say anything either. I stopped watch any news. If I was in the family room and it came on I asked to have the channel changed. The world out there is terrible. I am happy and want to stay that way.
FRIDAY OCTOBER 20 A little after 4am I was a sleep and could hear two women talking about Matthew. I said, Matthew? I was wakened by this pounding sound on Scott’s desk. I got my eyes open and looked at him. He came over to the bed and said, were you dreaming about Matthew? I said, no. I wasn’t really dreaming. I heard two women talking about Matthew. So I might have said, Matthew. I was wondering why they were talking about Matthew. He said, do you want Matthew back? I looked at him. I said, no. I love you and besides Matthew is long gone. He is dead. He said, so you are not unhappy with me? I said, no. Not at all. I am very happy with you. I worry you are not happy with me. He gave me a big kiss with a smile and said, I love you very much and am not unhappy at all. I said, I am sorry if something was said that upset you. I love you and would not want to hurt you. He got back in bed. I was lying on my back. He raised my head and put it on his shoulder. He said, I am just going to lay here awhile until you go back to sleep. He kissed me on my for head and I went back to sleep. I don’t know when it happened but I woke up enough to hear Scott whispering in my ear. Scott. I love Scott. I love Scott. I wasn’t doing very well but after a few minutes I got my eyes open and turned my head to look at him. All I could do was smile and then fell back to sleep. The next thing I remember was Scott waking me up to get ready for breakfast. I managed to get sat up on the edge of the bed. Nothing really hurt. It was like I had no energy. I sat there moaning and he got up and came to the bed. He said, are you ok. I said, yes. I am going to the bathroom. I getting there. He pulled the wheel chair over and set me in it. He took me to the bathroom and said, how is that? I said, that’s better. He handed me a wet wash cloth and said maybe this will help. I said, thankyou and started putting it on my face. I said, I just need a couple of minutes. He said, well ok. I am going to take a quick shower. He pulled back the shower curtain and stepped in. I raise my head a little and looked at him. Oh, so nice. If I could get out of this chair I would join him but it wouldn’t be to take a shower. I was starting to get better but not enough to get out of the chair. In a few minutes he open the curtain and took a towel and started drying off. I thought oh, if I was only better I would love to dry him off. But that isn’t all I would do. After he finished he said, how are you doing? I said better. He reached for me and said, I am going to sit you on the toilet. After I peed I did some deep breathing and then decided I could get back in the chair. He saw me while he was shaving and stopped. He again reached for me and sat me in the chair and went back to shaving. After he was finished he handed me some pull ups and said, can you put these on? I said, I think so. I got them on and got dressed. Scott check everything. Blood pressure a little high and sugar was fine. Everything was fine. I kept yawning. When we went to breakfast I was doing better but not 100%. I was thinking about those two women and wondering where they were. I wanted to kill them or at least cut their tongues out. They totally destroyed my whole night and tried to come between Scott and me. I can hardly function this morning. I know I promised not to jump but I can’t let them do this to me. I felt much better after my afternoon swim. Scott was so sweet. He set me on the steps of the pool. He kissed me and said, I love you. He kissed my stomach and said, I love you and then he kissed my stomach again and said, and I love you. I smiled and he said, I am the happiest man in the world. I was smiling ear to ear. I was very happy too. He took me to Mom’s room so I could change and take my nap.
Scott was sitting on the side of Mom’s bed and woke me up. He asked if I was ready to go to dinner. I said, it is that late? He said, yes. Mom said she tried to wake you but you kept saying in a few minutes. I looked at him and I was so depressed. He asked what was wrong. I said, I feel like someone is trying to take you away from me. A tear went down my cheek. He sat me up and hugged me and gave me a big kiss. He said, that will never happen. You don’t have to worry. Now if you feel rested, we should get you to dinner. You are eating for three you know. I smiled really big and said, that’s true. I just need to go to the bathroom and I will be ready. At dinner I felt pretty good.
When I went to bed, Scott tucked me in and said, I want you to tell me if you have anymore problems. If you hear those women or anyone else. I said, I will. He then said, I also want you to tell me if you are worried about anything between you and me or if you are thinking of jumping. Anything that is bothering you at all. I said, I will. He said, I don’t want anything to upset so much that you jump. It might cause you to go into labor. Will you promise to talk to me? You only have a couple of months left and we want everything to go well. I said, yes. I don’t want anything to happen to the babies either. He said, ok then. I am going to work on my paper. I will be right over there and then I will be to bed soon. He kissed me and said, don’t forget I love you. I smiled and said, do you need me? He looked at me with a puzzled look. He said, it’s more than a need. I long for you to be my wife. I love you and want you to be happy. When I am in bed with you I want to make love to you and show you how much I love you. Not just have sex. I want to be inside you and feel we are one. I hold you in my arms at night because I want to keep you safe and want you to feel loved. I want to be with you every minute. I love your smile and when you tell me you love me it makes me feel so happy. I feel convenient and strong. I feel all your children are mine and I want to be a good father and husband. I smiled at him and said, I do love you. He said, any more questions you want to ask me? You can ask me anything. I said, no. He said, well we better get you to sleep. I said, I am going to turn over on my right side and go to sleep. I slept really good, especially after he came to bed.