I woke at 6am. My body got accustomed to getting up at 6am. I went to the bathroom and brushed my hair. Got the other dress on, decided to try and follow my plan for the day. I am going to start with the calendar and mark off every day to delivery in red pencil. If my last period was on April 14 what day will be delivery day. I had sex on April 28. Counting the days that should be December 29. I will put a star around that date and ask the doctor. That means I have about 4 months. That seems about right.
Matthew has been gone 2 months now with no word at all. I am trying not to think about it because I don’t want to start crying and make myself sick. I will give him one more month or 30 days before I write him off for dead. Its even hard to use the word. Mom even said the longest he was ever gone without word was 3 to 4 weeks. She was trying not to say that word dead but we all knew what she was thinking.
They brought breakfast and it was great but still a lot of food. Maybe the exercise machine will help me eat more. I found a Taichi show that comes on about 30 minutes after breakfast. That was like the class in the yard out by the pool. Then an hour after that I tried the machine for a few minutes. I think I made it 5 minutes. I did do better after lunch and went to the bathroom better today. Don’t want to get stopped up. Wish I had other pregnant women to talk to. Having Serena around was great. After lunch I did find a show that was kind of interesting. A Wheel of Time. A fantasy world. That helped pass time. I did the machine another 5 minutes and then took a nap. I took a shower before bed which helps me sleep. The day was pretty boring and anyone one who reads this is most likely going to say the same thing but it went faster that yesterday.
WEDNESDAY SEPTEMBER 6 If the babies are not due for 4 months I hope I don’t go stark raving mad due to boredom staring at these 4 walls before them. I got up at 6am but my nap was longer today. I was changing the channels on the tv and a woman who’s husband was a fire fighter died. I started thinking about Matthew and I think he is dead. It was difficult to hold back the tears. I said yesterday I was going to give him 30 more days. I think the guard saw me crying because at lunch they brought me this really nice large piece of chocolate cake. The guards all know I am Matthew’s wife and I think, they think, he is dead. I hear whispers about what a great guy he was and that he did so much for everyone.
It was about 11pm when Scott got a message from Blade that he needed to talk. That they have identified what they believe to be a group of 6 men coming in from England to get Angel and find Dr. Freeman. He told Blade he would be over in an hour.