Today was really great. I felt good when I got up. I felt like my old self. In the morning I went to my Tai Chi classes and Scott was right next to me. He looked me up and down a couple of times. I think he was evaluating how I was doing.
In the afternoon Daniela and everyone who was going to be a brides maids were in one room for fitting. I thought I looked really good in my dress. I was looking in the full length mirror thinking wait until Matthew sees me in this dress. Daniela put on her wedding dress after the seamstress was finished with us. Wow, she looked great. When we were all heading to the door I told Daniela how great she looked in her wedding dress. I gave her a hug and told her I was so happy for her. She replied, This is like a dream. I never thought I would have a wonderful life like this. I have never meet a wonderful man like Jack and I believe he truly loves the boys. We were all smiles. After the seamstress was finished with us we all headed to the pool to go swimming. In the pool we were all huddled together in the corner of the pool talking and laughing. One of the single women said to me how is that guy that follows you around? I looked at Scott and Mom had handed him the baby while she went to the bathroom. I replied, you mean my Life coach? She kind of laughed and said, that is what you call him? She was implying something else. I said, I have a medical condition and the doctor assigned him to me to help get it under control. He’s monitoring my exercise, diet and other things for the doctor. She said, I wish the doctor would assign a man that looks that good to take care of me and he has a gun. I kind of laughed. I looked at him and he is very good looking. I said, well yes he is good looking and smart but I am into older more sophisticated men. He’s what may be 28? I was thinking of Matthew. I hadn’t thought about Scott like she was implying. She smiled really big. I said, would you like me to introduce you? She said, I have met him and he’s great but too ridged, rule following for me. He eats at certain time, exercises at a certain time, all business and always has his nose in a book. We just didn’t click. I said, Oh that’s too bad. He seems like such a nice guy. She replied, yes he’s very nice. We went back to talking with Daniela about what we were going to eat at her wedding.
I had just got in bed when my phone dinged. The message said, I love and miss you very much. We get to come home Friday. I was all smiles.
THURSDAY JUNE 29 OR SCOTT LEARNS MORE SECRETS The baby woke me up maybe 4:20am. I started to get up and it was hard. Every muscle in my body hurt and my bones were snap, crackle, and pop. I took the baby and sat in the chair and started feeding him. I felt very tired and had to tell myself when I was finished with the baby I could go back to bed. My eyes started to close when the baby became upset. He wasn’t getting anything so I changed breast. When he was finished I wasn’t sure if he was full or he wasn’t getting thing again but he was ready to go back to bed. I changed him and put him on his stomach in his bed. He didn’t like that and fussed a little but then went to sleep. My right shoulder was paining me from putting him down. I tried to slip back in bed with out bothering Mom. The minute my head hit the pillow my stomach flipped. My muscles ached when I tried to get up. It was very difficult to get to the bathroom. When I opened the lid I tried to throw up but it was dry heaves. I sat down on the floor and tried to dry heave a couple more times. When it quit and I decided it was over I tried to get up. I couldn’t. I was shaky and weak. I had left the bathroom door open and could see Serena sleeping. I called Serena trying not to wake anyone else. It was really hard but finally I woke her up. She looked around to see who was calling. She saw me on the floor. I raised my right hand and with one finger waving at her to come here. She got up. She came over to me and said, are you ok. I replied I am having a lot of trouble getting up. Could you go get Scott? She said, sure. She went out the door and in a few minutes returned with Scott. He squatted down resting on his heals with his hands together between his knees and said, What’s going on?
I said, Could you get me over to the clinic? Matthew is coming home Friday and I don’t want him seeing me like this? He replied, Ok. Can you get up? I said, No. I am too shaky and every muscle in my body hurts. He stood up and put his hands out. I took his hands and he pulled me up. He then put my left arm over his shoulder and one arm around my waist. He was very strong and off we went to the clinic in my pajamas. When we got there a nurse took us to a room with a bed and Scott helped me onto the bed. The nurse then took a clip board with paper and wrote something. After that she started checking me out with blood pressure, blood sugar, and other things. After asking a lot of questions she left the room. In a few minutes she returned with a container of chocolate Muscle Milk. Set it on my table and said, the doctor said to drink this. She then left. I picked it up and tried to open it and was having trouble. Scott got up and took it. He looked at it and then opened it. After about half and hour the doctor came in. She said, I see here you are have trouble. How do you feel now. I replied, good. She then said, what did you do yesterday? I told her about the dress fittings, swimming and playing with the kids? She said, How long did you go swimming. I said, well in and out of the pool maybe 2 hours. Scott spoke up, two hours and 45 minutes? She was noting things on the chart. She asked if there were any breast feeding problems and I told her I think the baby was having a problem getting enough milk this morning. Then she looked at me and said, Have you popped lately? My eyes got really big. I thought she meant having sex. I said, God no. Matthew has been gone so I have not been having sex. I don’t cheat on my husband. She turned to Scott and said, Could you close the door? Scott got up and closed the door. After he sat back down she took her fingers and in the air she went, have you hopped, skipped and jumped? I looked at her and Scott. I was thinking oh shit, Matthew is going to be so mad at me. I said, you know about that? She replied, I think I know everyone’s secrets and if you remember I delivered your baby. I said, oh yes. After Matthew left. She said, When? I replied, maybe 2 or 3 days after he left. She said, did you notice any problems after that? I said, no. She put the chart down and went to a white board behind her across from the bed. She drew a large oval up right. She said, this is you. The house. She put two boxes in it. She labeled one a battery and the other generator. She said, this oval is you. This is your battery and the generator is tied to your stomach for fuel. Then she said, when you eat the generator gets fuel and charges the battery. Then she drew a triangle outside the oval and said, this is the little guy. She drew a line from the triangle to the battery. He depends on the battery to run his oxygen supply. When you exercise a lot the battery gets run down and it takes a lot to charge it back up. When those men kidnapped you they put you to sleep and pumped you full of vitamins and such for the baby. They wanted you to have a healthy baby. So you where not using any energy in the house and the baby had the battery use just for himself. She drew a 6 inch circle on the other side of the oval from the triangle and labeled it milk. She put her hand over the triangle and said when the baby was born the milk factory was opened. She drew a line from the milk factory to the battery. Everything was fine until the tent was reopened. Now you have the the tent, the milk factory and you all relying on this battery to stay charged. She drew a line half way on the battery. She said, because your battery is being used so much it only can get to half charge. Then she drew these zigged zagged lines all around the oval and said, on your house you have thousands and thousands of Christmas lights that other people don’t have. You could tell from Scott’s face he was wondering what these Christmas lights were. She said, when you go hop, skip and jump it turns on all these thousands of Christmas lights which drain the battery. She then drew a line near the bottom of the battery box. Now the generator is working very hard but can’t get the battery recharged. The guy in the tent is having trouble keeping his oxygen going. So he gets up set and goes to the house to see what’s going on. He see the milk factory and shuts it down. He also needs other things so he starts looking at your muscles, the calcium in your teeth and etc.. He takes what he can and will come back for more. Are you following me? I said, yes. Scott was very interested. He was listening and watching also. So she puts the marker down and says, here is what we are going to do. You know you are not supposed to hop, skip, and jump so we will never do that again. Right. I replied, right. If you can’t follow instructions Scott here will take care of it. He might put you in isolation or permanently bed rest or something else. We can not under any circumstances have you turning on those Christmas lights. Matthew has said, in the passed you are not allowed to do that. I shook my head and quietly said yes. She said, ok then. We are going to put you on the body builder diet. We have a really good one. You are going to be eating about every two hours. You will eat breakfast. Then two hours later the kitchen will deliver a special protein smoothie. Then two hours after lunch you will receive another one from the kitchen. She picked up the muscle milk container and said, I am sending a bunch of these to your room. Two hours after dinner drink one. When you get up. You said its usually 4am to 4:30am? I said, yes. I want you to start drinking one if you can before you start feeding the baby. Can you do that? I said, yes. I rolled my fist up and put to my mouth. My eyes were watering. I wanted to cry. I had broken Matthews number one rule and jeopardized my baby’s life. How could I be so stupid? Another thing we are going to do is put you in a wheel chair until the wedding Sunday. That will limit exercise. Then Monday when you get up to take care of the baby don’t drink or eat anything. After you take care of the baby, Scott will bring you over here to be checked out and a blood test. Then you will have a muscle milk. Can you do that? I was about to cry and said, yes. I then said, do you have to tell Matthew what I did? She said, if you keep the Christmas lights off and he doesn’t ask. No. Scott was just taking all this in and looking at me. You can go as soon as the nurse brings you a wheel chair. Stay in the chair and we will get the battery recharged. No exercise. She turned to Scott and said, do you have all of that? He replied, yes no problem. She then turned back to me and said, if you throw up make sure of what it was and when it was. Throwing up is just part of your condition but we have to keep track of it. Tell Scott. I said, Ok. Thankyou. Scott was just looking at me and I could tell he was thinking what is hop, skip, and jump. He understood from what the doctor said it drained all my energy. Cindy came over with clothes and the nurse showed with the wheel chair. I changed out of my PJ’s and got in the wheel chair and we went to see who was at the table. When we got to the table Mom was there and Scott explained to her that I had over done it yesterday with all the swimming and had to stay in the chair until the wedding. Mom said, what every the doctor wants. She knows best. Later on in the day when no one was at the table except me and him, he turned to me and said, why do you keep secrets from Matthew? I said, because I don’t want him to worry about me so he can take care of what he needs to take care of. I can’t have him trying to take care of business with me on his mind all the time. It might get him killed. The problem is I keep fucking up. If I would just think before I do things I would be fine. I don’t want to be a burdened on him. He just looked at me and didn’t say anything. When my head hit the pillow my butt hurt from sitting in the chair all day. Maybe if I put a pillow in it tomorrow that will help. I felt much better. Pretty good in fact. On one hand I was excited Matthew was coming home early from his trip but on the other I was depressed I had fucked up things. If I just follow what the doctor says maybe I can get back to normal.